Have you ever been lost?
My favorite line about being lost comes from an old "M*A*S*H" episode where Hawkeye says, "We're not lost. I've been lost before, and this is not what it looks like."
We all know the drill - you thought you knew where you were going, so you didn't bring a map, and you found yourself so hopelessly turned around that you had no idea where to go next.
Ever feel that way in your relationship?
To Plan or Not to Plan
Consider with me the last vacation you were able to take. Think back to all the planning that was involved, things such as where to go, what to take with you, notifying people you would be gone and even consulting a map on how to get there.
Quite a bit of preparation, conscious thought and planning goes into a successful vacation.
Now, consider this: How much planning and conscious thought has gone into your marriage?
It's truly amazing how some folks will spend more time planning a two-week vacation than they do planning how they would like their marriage relationship to be.
Most of us seem to stumble into relationships and marriage and then continue to kind of make it up as we go along.
Wouldn't it be nice if there was a way to create a map to guide us on our journey through marriage?
Creating a relationship map
Actually, there are several different ways. One of the simplest, and yet most profound, is through modeling.
When you want to do something that you have never done before, you don't have to reinvent the wheel. You simply find someone who has done or is doing what you want to do, discover what they have done or do, and do it as well.
This idea of modeling works so well because success leaves a trail that can be followed.
In terms of marriage, look around your own world for the couples who have the strongest and most enjoyable marriages. That doesn't mean they don't have their share of struggles. It just means they have found a way to manage them in a way that strengthens their marriage.
So how do you find out what their map has been to get them to where they are?
Simple - just ask! While it may seem awkward at first, most folks are honored to be asked and very willing to help.
Here are some questions to ask successful couples about how to build your own relationship map. Start with general questions and then get more specific:
What do you think has made your marriage so successful?
What are the top five things that go into a healthy relationship?
What do you have to believe about your spouse to keep your marriage strong?
How do you handle small conflicts?
How do you handle larger conflicts?
How do you come to agreement about your finances?
How do you come to agreement on how to handle the children?
How do you divide domestic chores?
What do you do on a daily basis to keep the spark alive?
What has been your biggest challenge as a married couple? How did you handle it?
Do you keep the toilet seat up or down?
These are just a sampling of the many questions you can ask successful couples. You can come up with your own or even better questions to help you create your own map.
The most important factor is to simply ask and then put into action what you discover.
Jeff Herring is a Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Syndicated Relationship Columnist. Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for more relationship tips and tools, a free internet newsletter and free e-programs to enrich your relationship.
recurring cleaning service Mundelein ..Selecting a wedding gown is possibly one of the most... Read More
You've gotten engaged and have set the wedding date and... Read More
Diamond engagement rings for many years typically came in the... Read More
Bridal showers are one of many pre-wedding parties and are... Read More
If there are wedding bells in your future, then surely... Read More
Wedding ceremonies are the stuff fairy tales are made of.... Read More
'Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.' This is... Read More
Your wedding flowers cover all button holes, all the bouquets,... Read More
With so many ways to ask your closest friends and... Read More
You are engaged and one of the most important days... Read More
When it comes to consideration for the right wedding favor,... Read More
Is it safe for a wife to be smarter than... Read More
When Maria Callas first appeared on the international scene, she... Read More
It used to be that if you wanted to buy... Read More
Diamond hunting can be quite traumatic for the uninitiated. It... Read More
Let's face it, not many of us have the kind... Read More
The best and most valuable gifts are often not material... Read More
You have made the decision to contact a marriage counselor.... Read More
As a Personal Trainer for brides-to-be, I often get asked... Read More
Is it to be a summer wedding or winter wedding?... Read More
Wedding day is known as the most unforgettable day in... Read More
Healthy marriages require time, attention, energy, and vigilance. It's not... Read More
Despite all the fashionable theories of marriage, the narratives and... Read More
Bless the bride... and God help the video maker. True.... Read More
WHAT ARE THE TOP FIVE WEDDING FAVORS AND WHY?At most... Read More
cleaning service near Mundelein ..Wedding shower invitations should lay out all of the necessary... Read More
Wedding receptions are not as formal as they once were,... Read More
In the next six months, my... Read More
There are many places to shop for elegant mother of... Read More
It's time to look for a banquet facility. Most clients... Read More
So your not one of those fabulous actresses or models... Read More
Diamond engagement rings for many years typically came in the... Read More
Planning a second wedding? Prevent favorite guests comparing your second... Read More
Bless the bride... and God help the video maker. True.... Read More
Mattresses and marriage go hand in hand. Sleep is important... Read More
Recently, I stumbled across something on the internet. A particular... Read More
One of the most important steps in planning your wedding,... Read More
The relationship expert on i.village.com, I am the author of... Read More
"Presence is more than just being there," states Malcolm S.Forbes.... Read More
Jealousy has often been called the "green-eyed monster," and with... Read More
If you've been to one wedding, you've seen it all.... Read More
When people think about great love stories, more often than... Read More
Not only do individuals who follow Time Magazine's "Eight Steps... Read More
If you are looking forward to a vacation of attractive... Read More
Great deals can be found when you know how much... Read More
Believe it or not, there is etiquette on how to... Read More
It's safe to say that out of all the events... Read More
That first wedding was a dream, a gorgeous long white... Read More
Homemade wedding favors come from a centuries old tradition of... Read More
There are so many styles of wedding gown to choose... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |