Marriage Advice: Upgrade Your Marriage By Changing Your Focus

As the story goes, a Cherokee elder was sitting with his grandchildren. He told them, "In every life there is a terrible fight-a fight between two wolves. One is evil: he is fear, anger, envy, greed, arrogance, self-pity, resentment, and deceit. The other is good: joy, serenity, humility, confidence, generosity, truth, gentleness, and compassion."

One of his grandchildren asked, "Grandfather, which wolf will win?" The elder looked him in the eye and replied, "The one you feed."

This brief story contains a far-reaching truth. You choose which traits, attitudes, beliefs, and values you will give attention to. And what you focus on will grow and expand. For example, if you value honesty, this value will affect all of your dealings and interactions with others. If you nurture and "feed" resentment, it will eventually take over your life.

Continually focusing on marriage problems makes the relationship seem even worse than it actually is. If you continually talk about how you've been done wrong and how angry you are at your spouse, your anger will grow and blot out your memories of more positive times. When that happens, you are unable to see a balanced picture.

The more energy you devote to focusing on the negatives in your relationship, the worse and more hopeless everything seems. And when you're feeding your negativity, your creative energy is frozen. Thus, you don't have the ability to generate helpful options or a fresh perspective.

You influence your perception of reality by the thoughts you think, the beliefs you hold, and the attitudes you cultivate. According to Katherine Mansfield, "Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different. Life would undergo a change of appearance because we ourselves had undergone a change of attitude."

In each moment, you decide whether to make negative or positive interpretations about the events and people in your life. These interpretations shape your experience of reality and impact your capacity to be all you can possibly be. They also affect your expectations about what is possible.

Choosing to develop qualities such as compassion, honesty, serenity, and joy can transform your marriage and your life. And choosing to reduce the resentment, anger, deceit, and fear in your life can lighten your emotional load and leave you will more energy to generate creative solutions to your marriage problems.

As you become more positive, you bring more positive energy into your interactions with your spouse. When this happens, surprising things can happen in your marriage. The sharp, prickly edge of anger can start to soften between you and your partner. New insights and understandings about a situation can occur, and you can be more likely to find the middle ground of compromise.

The following tips can assist you in training yourself to focus more on what's right with your marriage and your life:

1.Take the time each day to list the things that you are grateful for in your life. Remember to include the things people often take for granted, such as three meals a day, a hot shower, heat, a stove and refrigerator, running water, medical care, and friends.

2.Each day, remind yourself of your spouse's positive qualities and contributions to your life. Think back to what attracted you to your partner initially. Reflect on how your spouse has caused you to stretch and grow and on how much you've learned from the experience.

3.Write in your journal about what positive qualities in yourself you want to cultivate and develop. These are the attitudes, beliefs, and values that you want to focus on and encourage to take root, grow, and thrive in your life.

4.Visit a library or bookstore and select some inspirational reading material and inspirational tapes or CD's. Find the time each day to read or listen to something that is positive, encouraging, and inspiring. It's important to refill at the well of inspiration daily.

5.Spend less time with friends and family members who are negative and leave you feeling depressed and fatigued. There's a name for those individuals who drain your positive energy-"energy vampires." Instead, cultivate new friends who are positive, supportive, and encouraging and who bring out the best in you.

Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available as an e-book at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get weekly ideas and support to help you improve your marriage. Nancy can be contacted at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com.

Homer Glen chicago limos .. Madison to Airport car
In The News:

Every stock trader should consider a virtual private network to safeguard their trading, according to tech guru Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson.
Apple recently announced its new lineup of Macs and rolled out Apple Intelligence, its latest artificial intelligence-powered feature for its products.
A Swiss-engineered robot can climb ladders, showing why it's at the cutting edge of autonomous robotic solutions for harsh industrial settings.
Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson presents the cities targeted most by robocalls, why this is happening and what you can do about it to protect your privacy.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents
Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson shares tips and suggestions for how to get the best use out of the updated Calendar app available with the latest iOS update.
Your Social Security number, your unique identifier used for many purposes, has likely been leaked on the Dark Web; here are some steps you can take to protect yourself.
Researchers have developed a new technology that creates strong, sticky fibers capable of lifting objects and capturing things from a distance.
Smart rings track the same things that smartwatches do, including steps, sleep and a general overview of your overall health, and they tend have more battery life than smartwatches.
Researchers have developed a robotic finger that can perform routine medical exams like those conducted by doctors, helping to address the growing shortage of trained professionals.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Insurance administrative services company Landmark Admin reported that a data breach from a May cyberattack affected over 800,000 people.
Sotheby's will auction the first artwork created by Ai-Da, the world's first robot artist created in 2019 by British gallerist Aidan Meller.
More than 250 million users of the Verizon Messages app will have to switch to another app. Verizon is shutting down Messages in the next month.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson provides a list of 10 celebrities who are the most targeted by deepfake scams, including Tom Hanks.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses how Vast's Haven-1, launching in 2025, transforms space living with human-centric design.
UnitedHealth confirms over 100 million Change Healthcare users had their data stolen. Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals what happened and what caused the breach.
Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson explains how iOS 18 brings new text formatting and animated effects to the Messages app.
Whether you're a social media veteran or novice, Facebook friend request scams are common. Kurt the CyberGuy provides tips to keep your account safe.
The latest Google Android update includes the long-awaited Theft Detection Lock, a tool powered by artificial intelligence to keep personal information safe.
Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Apple's iOS 18 has brought a game-changing feature to the Messages app, allowing users the ability to schedule text messages for future delivery.
A pair of smart glasses allows users to capture and process information in real time about strangers. They have become the center of a privacy controversy.
The ECG app on Apple Watch Series 4 or later and all models of Apple Watch Ultra generates an ECG similar to a single-lead (or Lead I) ECG.
While you may already use your smart speaker for playing music, telling you the weather and answering trivia questions, there are also commands you can tell your device to get help in an emergency.

Have a Garden Theme Dream Wedding

You've found the perfect venue: old oaks, a stone wall,... Read More

Las Vegas Hotel Weddings

"Las Vegas hotel weddings give you tons of options. You... Read More

Cheap Wedding Party Gifts

Thanking your wedding party with special gifts is a favored... Read More

Wedding Photography - Tips for a Wonderful Session

Every couple wants wonderful photos of their wedding day that... Read More

Las Vegas Wedding Receptions

Las Vegas wedding receptions are where people tend to go... Read More

How to Find The Perfect Wedding Dress

You want the perfect wedding dress, so you have made... Read More

Get Swept Away on Your Wedding Day: Rent a Sailboat or Yacht!

For a day you'll never forget on that special occasion,... Read More

The Marriage Test

Love should not blind a couple to the realities of... Read More

Your Disc Jockey Acts As A Wedding Event Planner

Give disc jockey's credit. Many of them have endured so... Read More

The Bachelor Party: A Guide For The Best Man

If you forget the ring, there is still a chance... Read More

Chocolate Wedding Favors

Providing chocolate as a wedding favor has been a time... Read More

Bridal Beauty Tips For Your Special Day

It's your day! The most special day of your life,... Read More

Wedding Planning: Tips for Choosing Online Wedding Vendors

If you're looking to the internet for help with your... Read More

Wedding Tips for Saving Your Sanity and Your Bank Account

Overwhelmed is a common feeling a bride-to-be experiences as she... Read More

History of the Wedding Favor Box

The wedding favor box carries on the timeless tradition established... Read More

3 Easy Steps to Buying the Right Engagement Ring

You've made the plunge, you've decided to get married. Congratulations!Don't... Read More

Planning Your Wedding - How To Get Organized

You have purchased the latest bridal magazines from your local... Read More

A Honeymoon Like No Other

When it comes to choosing a honeymoon destination it's usually... Read More

When To Order and Send Your Wedding Invitations

Wedding Invitations should be ordered when you have all the... Read More

Wedding Frames ? Are Your Wedding Photographs Safe?

One of the top priorities on a wedding day is... Read More

Fabulous Wedding Favors For Every Budget

Wedding favors are a delightful detail for any wedding shower,... Read More

Make Your Honeymoon an Everlasting Experience

Honeymoon is the most wonderful time of every couple's life.... Read More

Ten Tips for Writing Your Perfect Wedding Vows

1. Start with a nice clean piece of paper (lavender... Read More

A Wedding Shower Checklist

Bridal showers are one of many pre-wedding parties and are... Read More

Theres More to Wedding Invitations Than You Might Think

Everybody talks about wedding invitations, but what about all the... Read More

Cadillac Escalade rentals Spring Grove ..