Is it safe for a wife to be smarter than her husband?
Of course! Men who cannot afford social ornaments sometimes want inferior wives. Why? Often because they harbor a great sense of inferiority. Therefore at all economic levels there are some men who want apparently weak and docile women whom they can dominate completely, who will not put up any arguments, and who will do as they are told without any "ifs," "ands," or "buts." Likewise there are women who either want to be dominated, or who are so eager to marry that they will do so under such circumstances.
What about the "ordinary man" who has no serious feelings of inadequacy, and who cannot afford, and does not desire a social ornament? Does he demand that his wife not have too many brains?
Certainly he wants her to be intelligent enough to do her job well. He does not want to feel ashamed of her because of her stupidity. Actually, too, the marriage will turn out more successfully if the wife is smart enough to be interesting, and to help develop satisfying personal relationships.
Still, the man usually does not want to feel inferior to his wife. But feeling inferior is not the same as being inferior. Some men have a quiet pride in a wife who is smarter, provided that she is smart enough not to make him appear and feel inferior, especially in front of his friends.
Some men, like some women, want others to run things for them. This desire may result from an unwillingness to assume responsibilities. It may come from a deep-seated desire to be dominated. Whatever its basis, there are men who want to be dominated by their wives. In such cases, both of them should know it in advance.
The problem is not limited to what men in general, or this man in particular, may want. There is also social demand. The boy and the girl who plan marriage should have a clear understanding of what the entire situation actually is, including its contradictions which they must somehow resolve.
Our culture expects the husband to be intellectually superior to his wife. Yet actually, he is not and in many cases cannot be. By the law of chances, there will be almost as many wives who are superior to their husbands, as husbands who are superior to their wives. So what to do?
In real life the situation does not work out too badly. Vocationally, the wife usually becomes side-tracked while she is bearing and rearing the children. With a twenty-year advantage, even a relatively inferior husband can usually manage to keep ahead. And as a result of the differences in what society expects, the wife usually runs with the throttle only partly open.
While the husband is advancing himself vocationally, or rising in his company, the wife busies herself getting up church suppers and organizing flower shows which consume her time and energy, but do not show up in either the pay check or her vocational standing.
Yet such advantages are not always enough to keep the husband ahead. If the difference in ability is marked, it speedily becomes known.
Such a situation may be concealed by a polite little conspiracy to maintain the fiction of male superiority, but everyone knows to whom to go, to get things done. In our day this fiction is becoming more difficult to maintain.
More and more wives are going back to work as soon as their children are old enough to be left by themselves, and are getting real money and recognition.
In some instances, the wife will outstrip her husband. The problem often becomes a real issue at the time when her income exceeds his.
My feeling is that the soundest marriages are those in which husband and wife are on about the same level of intelligence. We may think that the problem will be serious, only if the girl is markedly superior, but this is by no means necessarily true. The girl who marries a man who is intellectually far superior may face problems quite as serious. She will be safer if she chooses a man more nearly on her own level, so that through the years the relationship can most easily be maintained.
There is just as much chance that the wife will be superior to the husband, as the other way around. All who marry should face this fact. Actually there is no more justification for a man feeling embarrassed because his wife is superior, than there is for a wife to feel embarrassed because her husband excels her.
In any case, character and personality are far more important, provided each of the couple is intelligent enough to do a good job.
This article was written by Jonathan Tan of christian dating tips and may be reproduced on any christian or dating website provided this copyright statement is displayed unedited in its entirety at the foot of the article and you use the exact same HTML code to ensure a clickable link back to the author's site.
professional maid services Northbrook ..The biggest problem long-distance spouses often face is how to... Read More
"What in the world could they have been thinking?"Definitely words... Read More
Weddings are momentous occasions to all people involved; especially the... Read More
Your wedding flowers usually tie to your wedding theme. When... Read More
You can rest assured that the charm of your Maui... Read More
Every woman dreams of her own wedding. May it be... Read More
Despite all the fashionable theories of marriage, the narratives and... Read More
In the last article, we concluded by saying that keeping... Read More
Here are five seeds of a great marriage from grandmother.... Read More
The invitation is the first impression of the type of... Read More
When Alicia first met Tim, she found him outgoing, charming,... Read More
With the cost of today's weddings spiraling to astronomical levels,... Read More
When it came to love-making, Napoleon, that short plump bundle... Read More
There's an important question that you need to ask the... Read More
Believe it or not, there is etiquette on how to... Read More
The look of the wedding invitations you send will not... Read More
Whether you want to add a little extra romance to... Read More
Movies, sitcoms and soapies made in the United States could... Read More
Deciding the menu is a pretty simple affair. Once you've... Read More
So you're toying with the idea of getting married? Maybe... Read More
Every couple has different priorities when it comes to budgeting... Read More
Apparently for a person to get married is like burning... Read More
Ahh . . . sweet romance.The flowers. The chocolate. The... Read More
Being a best man is like many duties you will... Read More
If you are looking for honeymoon vacation ideas that will... Read More
house refresh service Bannockburn ..When Alicia first met Tim, she found him outgoing, charming,... Read More
There is nothing more romantic than a wedding by water... Read More
When it comes to your catering services for your wedding,... Read More
It really doesn't matter if you are planning to have... Read More
The extravagance of weddings is a popular topic. We blame... Read More
One of the most beautiful of the bride's adornments at... Read More
One of the top priorities on a wedding day is... Read More
As a travel professional considering an exotic island wedding was... Read More
No one has as much fun as the bride to... Read More
Let's face it retirement is a time of great transition... Read More
Make your upcoming event the most memorable ever by adding... Read More
Cookies as wedding favors, create an unique twist on the... Read More
So you've been in that perfect relationship for some time... Read More
If there are wedding bells in your future, then surely... Read More
You can rest assured that the charm of your Maui... Read More
As couples begin thinking about their wedding, they are often... Read More
While you may be headed to Las Vegas for a... Read More
There are so many styles of wedding gown to choose... Read More
If the fires of passion in your marriage have been... Read More
Recently, I stumbled across something on the internet. A particular... Read More
That first wedding was a dream, a gorgeous long white... Read More
When it comes to wedding music, there are some choices... Read More
Let's think about what goes into your wedding budget. Your... Read More
Bridal shower games are a wonderful way to put your... Read More
Although I do believe in "till death do us part",... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |