Prescription for a happy marriage: one cup of tea or coffee, to be taken each morning before rising.
Sounds simple, doesn't it? And yet every year thousands of couples head for the divorce courts, or make pre-nuptial agreements in the expectation that the marriage will fail.
One factor contributing to this breakdown in relationships is the greater stress caused by uncertainty about job security, financial worries, political instability and so on. Constant worry about money, fear of redundancy and continual pressure to devote more and more time to work can leave a marriage stretched to breaking point.
It's no co-incidence that the age when most divorces occur is also the age when couples are beset by other concerns such as establishing a career, raising and educating children and paying off a mortgage.
Hectic Lifestyle Leaves Little Time for Each Other
Even if you feel relatively secure financially, living in the first year of the new century creates pressures unknown even a decade ago.
You're now expected to be available to the whole world -- 24 hours a day -- via the Internet, mobile phones, answering machines and lap-top computers.
One of you always seems to be working late or bringing work home; you feel obliged to give your children all the opportunities their friends have so you ferry them to music lessons, sports training and the movies with their pals. As a modern couple, you also have your individual sport or hobby commitments; you may be involved in volunteer work with a charity group or the children's school; coaching the basketball team or serving in the school canteen ... and so it goes. And that's not even taking into account running the house, the garden, the menagerie of pets ... and then there's your family and friends ...
It seems as if you never have time to draw breath, to slow down, to talk to each other.
While the causes of the resulting stress may be largely out of your hands, the way you react to it is completely up to you. Stress is a bit like steam in a kettle, it builds up until it finally blows the lid off, unless the pressure is relieved. You can let pressure build up in your life until you finally "blow your top" or, you can take positive action to release it.
THE EARLY MORNING CUPPA
By setting your alarm clock (or body clock) a half-hour earlier, you can give yourselves time to spend together, uninterrupted. You now have the best part of the day to spend with the person you love!
Take it in turns to be the one to get up and make the tea or coffee, and make it into an occasion by having special mugs or cups that you only use for this first cup of the day, or choose a special blend which you only have in the morning -- better still, make a herbal tea. Select something light and refreshing so that you'll have a spring in your step when you get up.
This is your time together -- to natter about nothing in particular or to make your grand plans. Lying in bed, sipping your tea and knowing you don't have to fly out of bed as soon as your eyes open, relaxes you without any effort on your part.
You don't need to practice any special breathing techniques, because you'll be breathing slowly; you don't need to concentrate on relaxing different muscle groups - they're already relaxed.
GETTING UP
Sometimes, you'll be so relaxed that you may be tempted to stay just a few minutes more.
Don't do it.
Don't spoil the mood you've created for yourselves by lying in and then having to rush through the morning. Your stress levels will go up and you'll be blaming each other for being late.
Turn on the radio when you wake up and make it part of your routine that you get up after a particular broadcast; it's always easier to have an external trigger like this, and it saves one of you having to be the "bad guy" who decides it's time to get up.
LASTING BENEFITS
By easing yourself gently into your day, you avoid a great deal of stress. The extra time you've made not only allows you to spend an extra precious time together, it also relaxes you for the day ahead.
Whenever you feel yourself getting tense through the day, take a deep breath; remember how relaxed you felt lying in bed sipping your tea; smile; try to recapture the actual physical feeling of relaxation and smile again when you realise that you have that special time to look forward to again tomorrow!
Jennifer Stewart is a freelance writer. She and her husband have been married (to each other) for 37 years and have two adult children. Visit her website at http://ww.write101.com and subscribe to free, weekly Writing Tips: mailto:WritingTips-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Barry Chicago limousine ..If the fires of passion in your marriage have been... Read More
Remember the frenzy of the paparazzi when they caught Sarah... Read More
You may not think of Las Vegas as an area... Read More
The wedding gown is most important choice for a bride... Read More
Each of the dozens of Maui honeymoon resorts can be... Read More
No one wants to pay more than they have to... Read More
Tina Turner asked an important question in the title of... Read More
Time was when you'd open a wedding invitation you'd find... Read More
Bridal accessories are as necessary to complete the bridal look,... Read More
Do you remember when there were no children in your... Read More
Mattresses and marriage go hand in hand. Sleep is important... Read More
Not so many years ago, the proposition of a wedding... Read More
Even though it's a great tradition with a long history,... Read More
There are many things to remember in preparation for your... Read More
My husband and I have a perfect marriage.There. I said... Read More
Simply put, intimacy is more than sex or making love.... Read More
Mens diamond rings are becoming more and more popular with... Read More
The most enjoyable part of the wedding reception is the... Read More
If you are planning to have a full wedding that... Read More
So many couples are planning to have their wedding at... Read More
The job of choosing the right wedding cake style is... Read More
Every bride wants to look perfect on her wedding day.... Read More
Beth and Tom were happily married for over 25 years... Read More
The big day is not all about the bride; the... Read More
It's really not difficult to ruin what could have been... Read More
Bartlett Chicago charter limousine service ..You may not think of Las Vegas as an area... Read More
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of... Read More
You've been invited to the bridal shower ? what fun!... Read More
Often when you are looking for wedding vendors who suit... Read More
Undoubtedly, the groom will want to choose a few good... Read More
From the book Spider's Big CatchAs June wraps its arms... Read More
WHAT HAS WORKED FOR USBrief Reflections On Enjoying 36 Years... Read More
When it came to love-making, Napoleon, that short plump bundle... Read More
Nobody, I repeat nobody likes a bridezilla bride. If you... Read More
These verses of Scripture from St. Paul are commonly used... Read More
Monograms are a huge trend in weddings, to the point... Read More
While you may be headed to Las Vegas for a... Read More
Save the Date Cards are announcements that inform your guests... Read More
You are engaged and one of the most important days... Read More
Imagine it's Halloween evening and you've just gone to the... Read More
Have you ever noticed that weddings seem to be all... Read More
THE sunshine had come out to ensure the wedding of... Read More
Looking for beach theme wedding cake ideas?When it comes to... Read More
Planning as early as possible for your wedding is the... Read More
There are many things to remember in preparation for your... Read More
"Presently, 40% of all first marriages in this country end... Read More
Diamond spending - well, that is up to you. What... Read More
The selection process of your wedding flowers will usually begin... Read More
There are many options available to adorn your flower girl... Read More
If you're getting married, a Bridal Show is a great... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |