Home
>
Marriage & Wedding
>
Legislating Morality: The Sanction of Marriage

Legislating Morality: The Sanction of Marriage

Biologically, a coupling between male and female (with some very rare exceptions like aphids, mites, and some lizards) is required for procreation, critical for survival of the species. On the other hand, marriage is a human social contract, historically accepted as the optimum means of raising offspring who require years of care before they become independent.

Divine blessing on the union is important to many but marriage in the eyes of religion is totally separate from the civil contract of marriage itself. It is the civil contract which has legal standing for government programs like social security and which can be severed by the courts in divorce proceedings. As a social contract between two individuals, the presumption that one must be male and one must be female is irrelevant.

Marriage is certainly an emotional and legal commitment. Once two individuals make the choice that they will spend the rest of their lives together, society approves the decision, notwithstanding the fact that only half of us will be able to permanently remain in that relationship. It is approved because it is a force for stability and responsibility, both vital if a culture is to thrive.

Most married couples have children; many do not. Child rearing is therefore only one aspect of the state of matrimony, not the sole reason for its existence. So why the outcry against same-sex marriage which brings the same forces of stability and responsibility to society as do heterosexual unions?

I suggest that the widespread movement against gay marriage is not really directed at marital vows at all but is a revolt against homosexuality itself. Rather than supporting gays by letting them receive legal sanction for their relationships, we want to punish them. They have stepped outside the bounds of our experience. They make us feel uncomfortable. We see a young man and a girl kissing on the street and smile. We see two young men kissing and emotionally recoil. Most heterosexuals cannot understand gays and unconsciously think that there is "something wrong" with them. (Until 20 years ago, homosexuality was listed as a mental disorder!) If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, gays are from another galaxy.

Because of our discomfort or, in many cases, disgust, we try to legislate them out of existence. The courts, and the culture at large, will not allow us to get rid of them. All we have left is an ability to relegate them to a less-than-equal status by denying them an important social right: marriage. That denial, codified in 11 states on election night, 2004, revealed a fearful desire to legislate morality and conduct according to a pre-conceived idea of what is right and wrong for everyone regardless of their religious, moral, humanistic, or sexual preferences.

The morality crusade that was Prohibition was possibly the most destructive social experiment ever attempted. Not only did it fail to stop the use of alcohol, but led to the rise of organized crime which still holds sway some 80 years later. We can successfully legislate against behaviors that hurt society -- murder, theft, violence and other dangerous acts -- because society benefits when its members are safe and protected.

To suggest that the safety of the world can be threatened by two same-sex individuals reciting vows of commitment before a local official is preposterous. The will to legislate against such an act reflects only our idea to withhold, to punish, to declare before all that it is only our values which matter and that we are right, divinely right.

Virginia Bola is a licensed clinical psychologist with deep interests in Social Psychology and politics. She has performed therapeutic services for more than 20 years and has studied the results of cultural forces and employment on the individual. The author of an interactive workbook, The Wolf at the Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, and a monthly ezine, The Worker's Edge, she can be reached at http://www.virginiabola.com

O'Hare affordable limousine ..

In The News:

Kurt the CyberGuy compares the AirPods 4 and the AirPods Pro 2. "For me, audio quality is the most essential factor in buying new headphones or earbuds," Kurt says.

A flying shopping cart could revolutionize the way we shop and transport things. The Palletrone is a hovering platform that users push around at chest height.

Kurt "CyberGuy" Knutsson explores how you can help troubleshoot a computer issue remotely on Windows or a Mac. There are a variety of options.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Checking your blood pressure has become simple with the Apple Watch, and doing this can help you identify trends and manage medications.

There are a handful of ways you can make your tech experience less annoying, including through fixing autocorrect, turning off certain notifications and by creating folders on your iPhone.

A robot that stands more than 5 feet tall and weighs 66 pounds is well-equipped for household tasks, like carrying up to 44 pounds during its run time of two to four hours.

Criminals are increasingly turning to data brokers to provide access to private information that can be used to improve their scamming schemes.

The new Reader Mode in iOS 18’s Magnifier app is here to help iPhone users read something small or in poor lighting. All you have to do is snap a picture.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

CISA warns of scammers impersonating its officials. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson urges people to be alert and verify contacts.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals how iOS 18’s satellite messaging helps isolated residents seek help in the aftermath of Hurricane Helene.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson reveals how to protect yourself with eight steps if your iPhone is lost or stolen.

Surgeons performed endoscopy on a pig 5,780 miles away using a video game controller. Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson has the details on this groundbreaking experiment.

Using public computers poses security risks, tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson says, so take precautions or use your own secure device.

Tech expert Kurt “CyberGuy" Knutsson discusses San Francisco deploying three advanced mobile surveillance cameras to deter crime in high-risk areas.

Lionsgate's revolutionary move to partner with tech company Runway to integrate AI into its production process is going to take the film industry by storm.

There have been cases when widely downloaded apps from the Play Store are infected with malware. Kurt the CyberGuy tackles the issue of a new Trojan malware.

A whopping 30 million people will have taken cruises in 2024, and some ships being built to keep up with this demand cost as much as $2 billion.

While you may feel pretty sharp at spotting online fraud, there's a sneaky new scam involving QR codes and parking meters across the country affecting even the most cautious people.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Loch Electronics' latest innovation, the Capsule Solo, is a compact kitchen countertop dishwasher that can clean up to 35 dishes in just 15 minutes.

As your teenagers navigate social media, here are some ways you can protect them including through adjusting settings, enforcing limits and communicating honestly about the dangers that exist online.

The Ukrainian Ministry of Defense shared a video of a robotic war dog being used in the field with a soldier, who was able to take advantage of the device's thermal imaging.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Legislating Morality: The Sanction of Marriage

Marriage & Wedding