Toss a Garter or Two

The tempo of the music begins to rise. Drums begin to throb. The bride and groom rise. Yet another ritual begins. Removing the garter from the bride's usually hidden leg.

If she's lucky, the garter will be removed with decorum and tossed among the bachelors waiting patiently nearby. If the wine and hard liquor has been flowing lavishly and abundantly for the past five hours, some sadistic youth will grab the groom, tie his hands behind his back with the tie which, a minute ago was around the groom's neck, and force the groom to remove the garter by the only means available to him. His teeth.

While there's a lot of grinding of guests' teeth at this unpalatable bit of ribaldry, the action is pretty close to what would have happened couple of hundred years ago.

When it came to weddings in days gone by, guests viewed the bride and groom very much like today's fans view their favourite movie stars. In "Singing in the Rain", Gene Kelly had almost his shirt torn off him by frantic fanatical fans. This scene could very well represent what happened at some of those wild weddings of the past.

Trying to anticipate, the well to do bride and groom would come prepared. Their pockets might be filled with gold coins to throw at the more boisterous of the guests. There were also gifts of kid gloves for the more refined. The bride might even stick bits of ribbon, lace and flowers over her clothes for those guests who had a tendency to grab at anything that looked as if it could be detached with ease.

But when all that could be given was given, and the hordes still bayed for more, than the bride had better be nimble and quick with those garters, or else she might be disconcerted by the number of foreign hands crawling up her leg.

It was no use for the bride to appeal to them with, "Look, just take one, OK? I'd like to keep the other one as a memento of the wedding." No. It was fling one garter as fast as she could, and remove the other one while the men scrambled for the first one.

By this time, running as fast as she could, she might reach the steps of the carriage. With one last mighty heave the other garter, like Atalanta's golden apple, would sail through the air to slow down those insatiable guests, long enough for her to jump in the carriage and away.

And they talk about the good old days!

Vlady, an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant, is an author of "The Complete Book of Australian Weddings", "The Small Organsiation Handbook" and an ebook "Honeymoon! A Sizzle or a Fizzle?" which you can see on her website http://www.vlady-celebrant.com

reliable home cleaners Mundelein ..

In The News:

Learn how to act against cybercriminals in 2026 with essential security steps like two-factor authentication, software updates and credit freezing.

Choose between OpenAI releasing Sora text-to-video model, the AI race heating up, or Waymo driverless cars launching in cities across the country

Learn how to set up Google Maps and Apple Maps on your phone to automatically remember where you parked. Step-by-step instructions for enabling location services and parking detection.

Phishing scammers use rnicrosoft.com domain to impersonate Microsoft by replacing "m" with "rn" in typosquatting attacks that steal login credentials.

OpenAI announces new teen safety rules for ChatGPT users under 18, blocking romantic roleplay and requiring extra caution on body image topics.

A 2025 data breach at fintech company 700Credit exposes personal information of more than 5.8 million people through compromised third-party integration partner.

Retailers lose $76.5 billion annually to return fraud as nearly 10% of U.S. retail returns involve fraudulent activity, with $850 billion in returns expected in 2025.

ShinyHunters claims responsibility for stealing 94GB of Pornhub user data affecting over 200 million records and demands Bitcoin ransom.

ChatGPT 2025 now connects to Apple Music, Canva, Expedia, TripAdvisor and OpenTable through built-in apps that help users create playlists, design graphics and more.

Apple releases emergency patches for two zero-day vulnerabilities actively exploited in attacks. iPhone and iPad users urged to update immediately.

DoorDash launches Zesty, an AI-powered social app that recommends restaurants through conversational search, now testing in San Francisco and New York.

Cybersecurity firm Infoblox reveals that over 90 percent of parked domains now redirect visitors to scams and malware, making simple typos extremely dangerous.

The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

GPT-5.2 is now live for all ChatGPT users with improved coding, writing and image interpretation, with Kurt Knutsson offering his review.

New iPhone replacement scam uses pressure tactics and fake carrier calls to steal devices from buyers. Criminals claim shipping errors and demand urgent returns.

Amazon Ring's new facial recognition feature sparks privacy controversy as Electronic Frontier Foundation critics argue the AI upgrade expands surveillance risks.

New Android banking trojan Sturnus steals credentials, reads encrypted messages and controls devices.

Denmark's 3D-printed student village proves automation builds 36 apartments faster than traditional methods. Skovsporet project shows housing future.

Discover Android's new Sound Notifications feature that alerts you to smoke alarms, doorbells, and baby cries even when wearing headphones.

New SantaStealer malware reportedly threatens holiday shoppers with password theft. This Christmas-themed info-stealer targets browsers and crypto wallets.

The Christmas season brings a surge in Netflix phishing scams targeting shoppers with fake emails. Stacey P received convincing scam but verified account first.

San Francisco Giants invite Jamie Grohsong to throw ceremonial first pitch at Oracle Park after he learned to play baseball with a bionic hand following an injury.

FBI warns cybercriminals are stealing family photos from social media to create fake proof of life images in virtual kidnapping scams targeting victims.

Instagram's new 'Your Algorithm' tool lets you control your Reels feed in real time. The app now gives you power to customize what videos you see.

Major Marquis fintech breach exposes 400,000-plus Americans' data through unpatched SonicWall vulnerability, with Texas hardest hit at 354,000 affected.

Toss a Garter or Two

Marriage & Wedding