Have you ever wondered why your marriage isn't happier? If so, you're not alone. Numerous spouses are struggling with the same question.
At least part of the answer may lie in the words you use in your self-talk and in what you say to your spouse. And what you believe, the lies you tell to yourself or to your spouse, and what you deny or rationalize will all affect your marriage intimacy and happiness.
Read the following ten statements and see if you recognize yourself in any of them. If so, it's never too late to make positive changes.
1. It doesn't matter if I don't tell the complete truth once in awhile as long as not knowing doesn't hurt him in any way. (You're lying to yourself.)
2. I'm not going to tell him how much our daughter's prom dress really cost because it would only upset him. (Lying never solves the real problem.)
3. She'd come unglued if she knew my old girlfriend called me today, so I just won't mention it. (And when she finds out later, you'll have some major trust issues to work through.)
4. The only reason I'm telling you that you're getting fat and need to lose weight is for your own good. (But that's not the only reason you're bringing this up, and your spouse knows it.)
5. It doesn't matter if we don't have sex very often now that we've been married for five years. (You're only fooling yourself.)
6. I deserve to be treated better, and I'm going to find a way to get even. (The game of getting even always has two losers.)
7. It doesn't matter what I look like and how I dress now that we're married. (Neatness and cleanliness always count, and dressing up for a "date" with your spouse can add excitement to your relationship.)
8. We'd be happier if you were more like Jackie's husband. (You're implying that you'd like him better if he changed. Your spouse will resent you for the comparison and be even more resistant to changing.)
9. We're going to do something special together just as soon as the car is paid off (our son graduates from college, the house is paid for, we build up our savings, etc.). (Even on a low-cost budget, you can find special things to do to have fun and build memories now.)
10. I'll really be happy when I retire in fifteen years. (Focusing on future contentment is a set up for missing opportunities to be happy now in the present moment-happy with yourself, your spouse, your marriage, and your life.)
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available as an e-book at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Nancy can be contacted at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com.
move in cleaning service Lincolnshire ..More and more, couples are choosing to write their own... Read More
"Presently, 40% of all first marriages in this country end... Read More
Often when you are looking for wedding vendors who suit... Read More
Weddings are made in heaven, they say, but they have... Read More
Symbols! Weddings are full of them. Exchanging rings. Exchanging roses.... Read More
Wedding flowers make up a large part of the wedding... Read More
In the beginning of a relationship, love seems to have... Read More
The design of the traditional wedding cake has varied greatly... Read More
When you think about couples who renew their wedding vows,... Read More
For some couples, jetting off to their dream location would... Read More
The reception alone will bust your wedding budget if you're... Read More
Whatever your religious affiliation, or whatever you'd like to experience,... Read More
You have purchased the latest bridal magazines from your local... Read More
Deik and Kim, remember that marriage is a COVENANT relationship.... Read More
We've all been through times in our lives when it... Read More
Tracking down a wedding officiant can be a little intimidating.... Read More
Simply put, intimacy is more than sex or making love.... Read More
Too many wives with cheating husbands put up with their... Read More
There's an important question that you need to ask the... Read More
Nestled in the beautiful Smoky Mountains, Gatlinburg's romantic and beautiful... Read More
Have you ever been irritated because your spouse does things... Read More
Is it safe for a wife to be smarter than... Read More
Increasing numbers of American brides are thinking about doing the... Read More
Think your bridal gown is the most important garment you'll... Read More
Congratulations! You have found the man of your dreams and... Read More
house cleaning company Glencoe ..It goes without saying that we all want to look... Read More
Bridal showers are one of many pre-wedding parties and are... Read More
If you are actually planning your Las Vegas wedding reception,... Read More
One of the biggest on-going problems for couples is how... Read More
You can rest assured that the charm of your Maui... Read More
Brides through the ages have accessorized with wedding jewelry to... Read More
Does it seem like the phrases "ecology" and "wedding" could... Read More
Numerous men have pondered the questions, "Why does my wife... Read More
"Couples who've had sex before marriage will inevitably have sexual... Read More
When your marriage is in trouble and you're fighting to... Read More
You have your band (around your finger), now it's time... Read More
Thank You, Merci, Arigatou, Gracias, Xie-Xie?Gratitude is a universal emotion.... Read More
Homemade wedding favors come from a centuries old tradition of... Read More
A frustrating lack of permanence plagues modern relationships. Approximately one... Read More
Caricature entertainment will make your wedding celebration stand out and... Read More
The most important part of planning a wedding is setting... Read More
Wedding cake bakeries will have a cake portfolio to look... Read More
On Friday, 1st May 1835, Mr Charles Dickens, the creator... Read More
There's an important question that you need to ask the... Read More
Brides are looking for different ways to make their wedding... Read More
Have you ever been lost?My favorite line about being lost... Read More
Of course, times have changed and there are occasions where... Read More
Wedding favors are as unique and varied as the couples... Read More
When it comes to placing your new diamond in a... Read More
Somewhere when you least expected, you find the person who... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |