Have you ever wondered why your marriage isn't happier? If so, you're not alone. Numerous spouses are struggling with the same question.
At least part of the answer may lie in the words you use in your self-talk and in what you say to your spouse. And what you believe, the lies you tell to yourself or to your spouse, and what you deny or rationalize will all affect your marriage intimacy and happiness.
Read the following ten statements and see if you recognize yourself in any of them. If so, it's never too late to make positive changes.
1. It doesn't matter if I don't tell the complete truth once in awhile as long as not knowing doesn't hurt him in any way. (You're lying to yourself.)
2. I'm not going to tell him how much our daughter's prom dress really cost because it would only upset him. (Lying never solves the real problem.)
3. She'd come unglued if she knew my old girlfriend called me today, so I just won't mention it. (And when she finds out later, you'll have some major trust issues to work through.)
4. The only reason I'm telling you that you're getting fat and need to lose weight is for your own good. (But that's not the only reason you're bringing this up, and your spouse knows it.)
5. It doesn't matter if we don't have sex very often now that we've been married for five years. (You're only fooling yourself.)
6. I deserve to be treated better, and I'm going to find a way to get even. (The game of getting even always has two losers.)
7. It doesn't matter what I look like and how I dress now that we're married. (Neatness and cleanliness always count, and dressing up for a "date" with your spouse can add excitement to your relationship.)
8. We'd be happier if you were more like Jackie's husband. (You're implying that you'd like him better if he changed. Your spouse will resent you for the comparison and be even more resistant to changing.)
9. We're going to do something special together just as soon as the car is paid off (our son graduates from college, the house is paid for, we build up our savings, etc.). (Even on a low-cost budget, you can find special things to do to have fun and build memories now.)
10. I'll really be happy when I retire in fifteen years. (Focusing on future contentment is a set up for missing opportunities to be happy now in the present moment-happy with yourself, your spouse, your marriage, and your life.)
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available as an e-book at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Nancy can be contacted at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com.
professional maid services Northbrook ..From purchasing the garter to choosing the photographer, brides (and... Read More
As a Personal Trainer for brides-to-be, I often get asked... Read More
It's important that your makeup look its absolute best for... Read More
Are you a Bride-to-Be? Wonderful! Congratulations! But what's that enormous... Read More
When we want to be successful at something in life,... Read More
Even though it's a great tradition with a long history,... Read More
The most enjoyable part of the wedding reception is the... Read More
There is a huge array of diamond wedding rings available... Read More
What should you "walk down the aisle" to? Should you... Read More
Jealousy has often been called the "green-eyed monster," and with... Read More
Most visitors to Hawaii would agree that Maui is the... Read More
One of the biggest on-going problems for couples is how... Read More
The relationship expert on i.village.com, I am the author of... Read More
Wedding centerpieces help tie together the look of your entire... Read More
While you may be headed to Las Vegas for a... Read More
The look of the wedding invitations you send will not... Read More
In the last article, we concluded by saying that keeping... Read More
Fashion Trends and Popular Styles and ColorsThe Wedding Dress ?... Read More
Let's think about what goes into your wedding budget. Your... Read More
Not only do individuals who follow Time Magazine's "Eight Steps... Read More
Mexico, a country rich in arts and ancient cultures and... Read More
Biologically, a coupling between male and female (with some very... Read More
These guidelines will help you avoid the three most common... Read More
Thousands of years ago, the Celts, a group of independent... Read More
In times gone by it wasn't uncommon for young couples... Read More
house refresh service Bannockburn ..I recall how Mrs. Ingridman taught me invaluable lessons on... Read More
Brides have always worn white, right? Not so. In ancient... Read More
The best and most valuable gifts are often not material... Read More
Many people believe that weddings have to be costly. But... Read More
So you're having a wedding anniversary. Congratulations! It's quite a... Read More
A 50th anniversary gift commemorates a milestone most married couples... Read More
Why does Co-dependence arise? Well because two or more individuals... Read More
We've all been through times in our lives when it... Read More
Despite all the fashionable theories of marriage, the narratives and... Read More
Going to Italy on a honeymoon vacation could be the... Read More
I am a woman, 42, who three years ago married... Read More
The selection process of your wedding flowers will usually begin... Read More
Brides through the ages have accessorized with wedding jewelry to... Read More
Almost there! This is the third lesson of my "Invitation... Read More
There are two major events that you have to plan... Read More
There is a huge array of diamond wedding rings available... Read More
You have begun to plan your wedding and you want... Read More
Weddings are momentous occasions to all people involved; especially the... Read More
Communication plays one of the most important roles in any... Read More
During a marriage crisis, you can feel like your whole... Read More
Brides looking to stay on top of their wedding plans... Read More
Ask someone why they had, or are having an affair... Read More
Following is a list of question that, I believe, can... Read More
Have you heard enough about the "Runaway Bride" yet? Well,... Read More
Just as there are a variety of wedding packages available,... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |