Have you ever wondered why your marriage isn't happier? If so, you're not alone. Numerous spouses are struggling with the same question.
At least part of the answer may lie in the words you use in your self-talk and in what you say to your spouse. And what you believe, the lies you tell to yourself or to your spouse, and what you deny or rationalize will all affect your marriage intimacy and happiness.
Read the following ten statements and see if you recognize yourself in any of them. If so, it's never too late to make positive changes.
1. It doesn't matter if I don't tell the complete truth once in awhile as long as not knowing doesn't hurt him in any way. (You're lying to yourself.)
2. I'm not going to tell him how much our daughter's prom dress really cost because it would only upset him. (Lying never solves the real problem.)
3. She'd come unglued if she knew my old girlfriend called me today, so I just won't mention it. (And when she finds out later, you'll have some major trust issues to work through.)
4. The only reason I'm telling you that you're getting fat and need to lose weight is for your own good. (But that's not the only reason you're bringing this up, and your spouse knows it.)
5. It doesn't matter if we don't have sex very often now that we've been married for five years. (You're only fooling yourself.)
6. I deserve to be treated better, and I'm going to find a way to get even. (The game of getting even always has two losers.)
7. It doesn't matter what I look like and how I dress now that we're married. (Neatness and cleanliness always count, and dressing up for a "date" with your spouse can add excitement to your relationship.)
8. We'd be happier if you were more like Jackie's husband. (You're implying that you'd like him better if he changed. Your spouse will resent you for the comparison and be even more resistant to changing.)
9. We're going to do something special together just as soon as the car is paid off (our son graduates from college, the house is paid for, we build up our savings, etc.). (Even on a low-cost budget, you can find special things to do to have fun and build memories now.)
10. I'll really be happy when I retire in fifteen years. (Focusing on future contentment is a set up for missing opportunities to be happy now in the present moment-happy with yourself, your spouse, your marriage, and your life.)
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available as an e-book at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Nancy can be contacted at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com.
expert residential cleaners Northbrook ..The big day is fast approaching, and the energy of... Read More
Your wedding flowers usually tie to your wedding theme. When... Read More
Your true love got down on his knees and asked... Read More
While through history brides have agonized over what to wear... Read More
In Part One, we looked at what wives really want... Read More
Henry Vlll and Elizabeth Taylor, who between them had fourteen... Read More
Planning a second wedding? Prevent favorite guests comparing your second... Read More
Have you ever heard the expression, "The Urge to Merge"?It... Read More
Most girls know by the age of 12 what kind... Read More
Computer printed labels are a time-saver, but they make the... Read More
Here are five seeds of a great marriage from grandmother.... Read More
You're well into planning your wedding and have finally decided... Read More
Traditionally, a wedding band was worn on the ring finger... Read More
Tracking down a wedding officiant can be a little intimidating.... Read More
A person's wedding can be one of the most important... Read More
Las Vegas wedding receptions are where people tend to go... Read More
Depending on your personal preferences and the preferences of your... Read More
The reception alone will bust your wedding budget if you're... Read More
Ever since Queen Victoria wed in 1840, however, white has... Read More
Your wedding rings were meant to last a lifetime. They... Read More
One of the top priorities on a wedding day is... Read More
Most visitors to Hawaii would agree that Maui is the... Read More
If bar-hopping and male strippers aren't the bride's idea of... Read More
There is an overwhelming demand for high quality, custom stationery... Read More
Games for a wedding shower are the best ways to... Read More
licensed cleaning services Lake Forest ..There is an overwhelming demand for high quality, custom stationery... Read More
Mexico, a country rich in arts and ancient cultures and... Read More
Are you looking for a las Vegas chapel to make... Read More
The tempo of the music begins to rise. Drums begin... Read More
Are you a Bride-to-Be? Wonderful! Congratulations! But what's that enormous... Read More
Why does Co-dependence arise? Well because two or more individuals... Read More
Let's face it retirement is a time of great transition... Read More
Planning a wedding of any size or budget can have... Read More
Imagine it's Halloween evening and you've just gone to the... Read More
While signing a prenuptial agreement can be one of the... Read More
Your wedding flowers usually tie to your wedding theme. When... Read More
Just because you don't have a lot of money doesn't... Read More
Undoubtedly, the groom will want to choose a few good... Read More
A frustrating lack of permanence plagues modern relationships. Approximately one... Read More
Being disc jockeys, we get the opportunity to evaluate many... Read More
How do you handle arguments that lead to heated exchanges... Read More
Deciding the menu is a pretty simple affair. Once you've... Read More
A person's wedding can be one of the most important... Read More
A dynamic that prevents real connection in a relationship is... Read More
If you have met the person or the couple several... Read More
The invitation is the first impression of the type of... Read More
Often when you are looking for wedding vendors who suit... Read More
Every bride wants to look perfect on her wedding day.... Read More
Your wedding day is the day when all the details... Read More
Thanking your wedding party with special gifts is a favored... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |