At one time or another, most of us have had daydreams about winning the lottery, achieving great fame, or having the perfect partner and living happily ever after. We usually visualize our imagined future good luck as something that will unexpectedly "come out of the blue" and surprise us.
In reality, most luck is the product of lots of hard work and creative initiative. If we just wait for good things to fall into our lap without any effort on our part, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. It's up to us to do the groundwork that will open the door for opportunity to come into our life.
A Persian saying advises, "Go and wake up your luck." To do this, we have to wake up and start taking action toward our goals. For as a Yiddish proverb admonishes, "If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep." It takes initiative, energy, and effort on our part to start the process of preparing the way for good things to happen.
According to Anthony Robbins, "It is in the moment of your decisions that your destiny is shaped." This means that the unfolding of our destiny is not a passive process, but rather that each day we are actively influencing what happens in our life. The good news is that if we are dissatisfied with our life, we can always make new choices and create a life that more accurately reflects who we are now and who we want to become.
These same principles are true in every aspect of your life, including your marriage. The happy marriage doesn't just happen. It requires consistent effort and initiative to solve marriage problems and reduce conflict.
If you want a marriage with quality emotional intimacy, then you have to take steps to deepen your feelings of connection with your spouse. At some point in the future, it may appear to family and friends that you have been very "lucky" to have such a loving marriage. But you'll know the hard work behind the scenes that being "lucky" in marriage usually requires.
How to Be "Lucky" in Your Marriage
Here are seven tips to follow:
1. Instead of blaming your spouse and focusing on how he or she should change to be a better partner, concentrate on changing yourself to become the kind of ideal partner you'd love to have.
2. Make a point of always noticing your spouse's good qualities and what you like and admire about him or her. Give your spouse lots of praise, and look for opportunities to give compliments in front of others.
3. Express your appreciation and love frequently-verbally, in writing (notes and cards), and with hugs and physical affection. Be sure that you don't hold hands, hug, and kiss only when you have expectations of sex, or your partner eventually may start trying to avoid physical contact with you.
4. Record important dates such as birthdays and anniversaries in your daily planner at the first of each calendar year. Be sure to list the special occasions a couple of weeks ahead of time as well as on the specific days so that you'll have time to buy a present or make dinner reservations. Be the spouse who never forgets a special occasion. You'll gain many extra good will brownie points for this!
5. Create a "story" about your marriage, how you met your spouse, how much you love each other, what your adventures have been, etc. For example, you might tell the story of when you met your Prince Charming at your second cousin's wedding, right after you slipped and fell in front of everyone and he helped you to your feet.
You could say that he probably thought that was a rare happening for you, but little did he know about your klutzy tendencies and that after you married, he'd be helping you up from floors all over the globe... Make the story light and humorous and have fun adding to it through the years.
6. Learn what to overlook. You can't make a major deal out of everything that happens. Pick your disagreements carefully and distinguish the unimportant or "small stuff" from the important "big stuff." Constant conflict will extinguish the flames of passion.
7. Never, never, never ever call your spouse names or belittle him or her. It's impossible to feel loving toward someone who has just called you a "stupid idiot" or worse. Leave the room, bite your tongue, go outside for a few minutes-do whatever you have to do to stop yourself. Learn how to disagree without name calling or resorting to sarcasm or mockery.
Being "lucky" in a marriage relationship requires hard work, but the payoff is huge.
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free weekly Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get ideas and support for improving your marriage.
Barry Chicago limousine ..Trust is the basis of all human relationships. Trust can... Read More
As we hear the music begin to play the Bridal... Read More
There's no one simple answer to the question that I'm... Read More
If you're going the increasingly popular route of personalizing your... Read More
Looking for beach theme wedding cake ideas?When it comes to... Read More
Planning and organizing a wedding budget can greatly reduce the... Read More
If you're looking to the internet for help with your... Read More
Your wedding party is a major factor in the success... Read More
For better or worse, in people's minds weddings and wedding... Read More
A 50th anniversary gift commemorates a milestone most married couples... Read More
Save the Date Cards are announcements that inform your guests... Read More
All brides want to be beautiful on their wedding day,... Read More
Games can make or break a shower. The best can... Read More
I've been noticing a few things lately that a few... Read More
In the next six months, my... Read More
Creating a wedding budget is one of the first things... Read More
Bless the bride... and God help the video maker. True.... Read More
You invitation is a reflection on the type of wedding... Read More
According to a survey conducted in 2003 by Bride's magazine,... Read More
It used to be that if you wanted to buy... Read More
Beth and Tom were happily married for over 25 years... Read More
The Arizona Inn is just the place that you are... Read More
You want the perfect wedding dress, so you have made... Read More
The wedding service in the Greek Orthodox faith is an... Read More
Fashion Trends and Popular Styles and ColorsThe Wedding Dress ?... Read More
Bartlett Chicago charter limousine service ..If you've been to one wedding, you've seen it all.... Read More
The wedding service in the Greek Orthodox faith is an... Read More
When it comes to your wedding services alone, nobody wants... Read More
Getting Married? Congratulations! You just set the date for the... Read More
When it comes to your decorating budget it really depends... Read More
My parents gave me this advice about marriage. They have... Read More
It really doesn't matter if you are planning to have... Read More
As a travel professional considering an exotic island wedding was... Read More
The design of the traditional wedding cake has varied greatly... Read More
More and more, couples are choosing to write their own... Read More
One of my favorite parts about the wedding, is the... Read More
Perhaps the biggest worry of a bride-to-be, is picking out... Read More
Hiring music entertainment can arguably be the most important booking... Read More
An anniversary gift is the opportunity to show your loved... Read More
Whoever said diamonds are women's best friends, surely missed on... Read More
Personalized wedding favors are among the most popular of gift... Read More
Hopefully, you've read my prerequisite lesson "Invitation Anatomy 101 ?... Read More
Got a yen for Elvis? Lots of people do. There... Read More
If you are in the process of design a wedding... Read More
Many happy couples are turning their backs on the traditional... Read More
When planning your wedding, what type of entertainment are you... Read More
One of the biggest areas of dispute in estate planning... Read More
No one said that you had to follow the rule... Read More
Cruising down the river was always deemed by couples the... Read More
You have your band (around your finger), now it's time... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |