Trust in Marriage

Trust is the basis of all human relationships. Trust can be thought of as a thermometer that can measure the positive and negative nature of a relationship. The more positive one feels about a person, the higher the trust level associated with him/her.

There are many different trust levels at which we may trust others. We trust most people enough to walk around freely without expecting all the neighbors to start shooting at us. Those persons who cannot trust others at even this remote level have great difficulty functioning in the world.

However, at a more personal level, trusting your partner with your fears, dreams, and feelings is sometimes difficult. Just as when we were infants, our trust in others builds as we learn through experience that others will be accepting of us. The more we are exposed to positive trust experiences, the more trust in others will develop.

The building of a trusting attitude goes hand-in-hand with the development of positive self-esteem.

Imagine a young woman on a tropical beach dressed in heavy winter clothing. As the sun comes up in the morning, she begins to get warm and takes off her muffler and gloves and feels better. The sun continues to shine and the young lady sheds more of her heavy clothing. Each time she gets rid of a layer of protective clothing, she feels more comfortable, more in tune with her environment. If the weather changes and it gets cold again, the woman can put on a layer of clothing for protections.

So it is when we learn to trust others with our secrets, our fears, and our uniqueness. There is a period of time in every relationship when we peel off layers of protection in response to the growing warm feelings we share. As we shed our protective coats, we become more vulnerable to hurt or betrayal, but we also have the potential of building trusting relationships in which the partners can share deep feelings and grow as individuals.

In most relationships there are periods of pulling away and growing closer. These times may require us to readjust our protective layers or to pause in the process of shedding to make our needs for trusting less vulnerable. During these periods we learn about ourselves, particularly those areas about which we are most sensitive. Feelings of insecurity often indicate areas of our personal lives in which trust has been betrayed or about which we feel negatively. Taking the risk to trust sharing feelings about painful issues is often scary, but with big risks come big gains-for you and your partner.

When trust is absent, there are deep and hidden animosities. Respect is lost and our relationship is compromised as our energies go into manipulation and protection rather than working together towards a shared vision.

Trust is having the confidence in your judgment to trust yourself to trust your partner. Before you day "I Do," you need to ask yourself, do I trust my intended?

As adults, we learn to trust through observation, experience and self-awareness. Our partners earn our trust by exhibiting trust worthy behaviors and communications. Their behaviors are consistent with their "talk" and you have learned you can place your confidence in him/her.

People have integrity when their behavior matches their words. They do what they say they are going to do. It's a red flag in a relationship if, over time, a person's behavior does not consistently match their words. In short, hear the words but watch the actions.

We are human beings and guess what? Human beings often mess up and make mistakes. We have many shortcomings, imperfections and defects. That's part of everyday life. But people who can be trusted take responsibility for their weaknesses. They don't blame others or make excuses. When they mess up, they admit it, and, to the best of their ability do some serious damage control.

Understand that two people can look at the same experience and have very different responses. An ugly blue building may be colorful to someone else. Your benevolent gesture may feel invasive to someone else. In order for trust to grow, these different perspectives must be acknowledged even when they're not understood.

We tend to trust the people with whom we feel secure. When we know we can be ourselves and say what we really think and feel without repercussions our trust builds. A requirement to walk on eggs is a metaphor for the fragility of that security. If you feel insecure in being able to express yourself or feel that there are some things you cannot say to your partner for fear of repercussions, a red flag should immediately go up.

It takes time to develop trust in someone, especially for people who have been hurt before. Who do you trust? What are the characteristics that support that trust? If the relationship is important to you what are the small steps you can do to restore betrayed trust?

Trust is central for a loving, honest and respectful relationship. Both you and your fianc? should trust each other to remain loyal, be honest, communicate feelings, thoughts and opinions openly and genuinely, value each other as human beings and not objects to be used and manipulated.

When you trust your partner, you will be protected. You know you won't be hurt, betrayed, or ridiculed. You can let down your guard and really be yourself with your partner, allowing a feeling of complete security to flow through the relationship. You don't need to censor or edit your conversations, or alter your behavior (as long as your words and behavior are kind and courteous). You can open your heart to the other person. And, as I mentioned earlier, this deep trust and mutual vulnerability forms the very foundation of lasting and loving relationships.

Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, veteran social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach which can be reviewed on her site. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: My Grief Management Workbook, is expected to be available soon.

You are welcome to visit amen ministries: your soul's service station for spiritual refreshing, soul edification or to browse our newly expanded mini shopping mall.

Blessings to all!

high-end home cleaning Northbrook ..

In The News:

Costco has expanded into EV infrastructure with new ultra-fast charging stations that can charge most electric vehicles to 80% in 20-60 minutes while shoppers browse the warehouse.

The new Gemini Robotics On-Device AI allows robots to perform complex tasks without internet, offering enhanced privacy, reliability and adaptability for real-world use.

Protect yourself from Amazon phishing scams by spotting red flags like suspicious sender addresses and spelling errors while using Amazon's Message Center to verify communications.

GAC Group's new Govy AirCab flying car combines lightweight design with advanced safety systems and smart cabin technology to revolutionize city travel with an 18.6-mile range.

The Berkeley Humanoid Light (BHL) is a lightweight, open source humanoid robot that anyone can build using 3D-printed parts and off-the-shelf components.

Meta’s new AI chatbot is getting personal, and it might be sharing more than you realize.

A new threat targets both Android and iPhone users: SparkKitty, a powerful mobile malware strain that scans private photos to steal cryptocurrency recovery phrases and other sensitive data.

Thanks to a team at the University of California, Davis, there's a new brain-computer interface (BCI) system that's opening up real-time, natural conversation for people who can't speak.

Privacy risks are hiding in plain sight, as your personal data is likely being collected, tracked, and sold without your knowledge.

VenHub, a fully autonomous, AI-powered smart store just opened at the LAX/Metro Transit Center in Los Angeles.

A woman's Facebook account takeover reveals dangerous social engineering tactics and provides lessons on recovery, avoiding scams and enacting stronger security measures.

Shanghai engineers are using 432 walking robots to relocate a complex, preserving Shikumen architecture while creating space for a modern underground hub and cultural center.

Major healthcare data analytics firm Episource had a cybersecurity incident exposing 5 million patients' medical records and personal information in recent breach.

A new sophisticated PayPal scam sends legitimate-looking emails from official PayPal addresses, using phone numbers instead of links to convince victims to download remote access tools.

Fox News' AI Newsletter brings you the latest on this rapidly evolving technology.

The innovative Kara Pod device extracts moisture from air to create mineral-rich water and brew coffee, featuring UV sterilization and compatibility with Nespresso pods.

Gov. Hochul unveiled New York's nuclear power plant project to power a million homes, which faces permit challenges while promising jobs and a cleaner energy future.

SAFE introduces Aerie, an underground luxury bunker combining high-end living with advanced security, wellness amenities and interactive walls simulating panoramic views.

A Facebook scammer posing as Elon Musk tricked a victim with promises of a Tesla and $250,000, requesting gift cards that become untraceable once the codes are shared.

Experience hands-free golfing with the Robera Neo smart caddie that uses AI to follow you, navigate obstacles and carry your clubs with GPS course mapping.

Cybersecurity alert: 16 billion passwords exposed in massive credential database affecting major platforms. Protect your accounts with password managers

The innovative BeBot robot uses electric power to remove pollution from shorelines, covering 20-30 times more area than manual collection while preserving wildlife.

A new ClickFix campaign targets macOS users with fake Spectrum support sites, tricking victims with CAPTCHA failures to paste commands that install information-stealing malware.

AI-powered autonomous trucks from Plus Automation are being tested across the U.S., Europe and Asia to solve logistics challenges while facing regulatory hurdles and labor concerns.

Your health information might feel private and secure with your doctor, but the reality is far more complicated. Data brokers collect a wide range of sensitive health data, from diagnoses and prescription details to personal identifiers, and sell this data to marketers, insurers, and other third parties.

Trust in Marriage

Marriage & Wedding