Toss a Garter or Two

The tempo of the music begins to rise. Drums begin to throb. The bride and groom rise. Yet another ritual begins. Removing the garter from the bride's usually hidden leg.

If she's lucky, the garter will be removed with decorum and tossed among the bachelors waiting patiently nearby. If the wine and hard liquor has been flowing lavishly and abundantly for the past five hours, some sadistic youth will grab the groom, tie his hands behind his back with the tie which, a minute ago was around the groom's neck, and force the groom to remove the garter by the only means available to him. His teeth.

While there's a lot of grinding of guests' teeth at this unpalatable bit of ribaldry, the action is pretty close to what would have happened couple of hundred years ago.

When it came to weddings in days gone by, guests viewed the bride and groom very much like today's fans view their favourite movie stars. In "Singing in the Rain", Gene Kelly had almost his shirt torn off him by frantic fanatical fans. This scene could very well represent what happened at some of those wild weddings of the past.

Trying to anticipate, the well to do bride and groom would come prepared. Their pockets might be filled with gold coins to throw at the more boisterous of the guests. There were also gifts of kid gloves for the more refined. The bride might even stick bits of ribbon, lace and flowers over her clothes for those guests who had a tendency to grab at anything that looked as if it could be detached with ease.

But when all that could be given was given, and the hordes still bayed for more, than the bride had better be nimble and quick with those garters, or else she might be disconcerted by the number of foreign hands crawling up her leg.

It was no use for the bride to appeal to them with, "Look, just take one, OK? I'd like to keep the other one as a memento of the wedding." No. It was fling one garter as fast as she could, and remove the other one while the men scrambled for the first one.

By this time, running as fast as she could, she might reach the steps of the carriage. With one last mighty heave the other garter, like Atalanta's golden apple, would sail through the air to slow down those insatiable guests, long enough for her to jump in the carriage and away.

And they talk about the good old days!

Vlady, an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant, is an author of "The Complete Book of Australian Weddings", "The Small Organsiation Handbook" and an ebook "Honeymoon! A Sizzle or a Fizzle?" which you can see on her website http://www.vlady-celebrant.com

spring cleaning service Deerfield ..

In The News:

Analysts at Silent Push have uncovered a widespread scam that uses counterfeit retail websites to steal the credit card information of online shoppers.

Chrome users need to update their browsers immediately as Google addresses a critical vulnerability that hackers are actively exploiting. Additional security measures are recommended.

A study found teens glance at phones for dangerous two-second intervals while driving, using devices primarily for entertainment, texting and navigation despite crash risks.

Security researchers uncovered a flaw in Windows 11 that allows attackers to disable Secure Boot using Microsoft-signed tools, requiring manual updates to protect against bootkits.

Carnegie Mellon's noninvasive brain technology allows users to move robotic fingers by thinking about the motion, offering new possibilities for people with motor impairments.

Multi-factor authentication (MFA) adds an extra layer of protection to your accounts. Instead of relying only on a password, MFA requires you to verify your identity using two or more methods.

Scientists from Duke, Harvard, and the University of Otago have unveiled a game-changing tool called DunedinPACNI. It uses a single AI brain scan to reveal how fast a person is biologically aging.

A disturbing wave of fake agent phone scams is sweeping across the United States, catching people off guard and draining their savings.

Emojis aren't just playful add-ons; they're powerful tools for building stronger connections in our increasingly digital world.

Google has taken a major step toward the future of clean energy by partnering with Commonwealth Fusion Systems (CFS), an MIT spin-out working to build one of the world’s first commercial fusion reactors.

If you create and share art online, you might have seen messages warning that Facebook's parent company, Meta, claims the right to use or even sell anything you post, whether it's pictures, poems, or artwork.

Cybercriminals hit Qantas in a major data breach that exposed information from up to six million customers.

Having reliable, loud, and timely emergency alerts on your phone or device is important because when severe weather strikes, every second counts.

Here's how your daily brew is becoming the foundation for greener buildings.

Artificial intelligence (AI) and large language models (LLMs), such as ChatGPT, are transforming how we learn. But what does this mean for AI and learning retention?

Modern AI data centers use much more electricity than traditional cloud servers. In many cases, the existing power grid cannot keep up. One innovative solution is gaining traction: repurposed EV batteries for AI data centers.

Microsoft 365 and Outlook users are being targeted by a tactic that injects fake billing alerts directly into their calendars.

Researchers are now showing us that old smartphones as data centers could be the next big thing in sustainable tech.

Scientists have created micro-robots for sinus infection treatment that can enter the nasal cavity, eliminate bacteria directly at the source, and exit without harming surrounding tissue.

Let's examine how your data is collected in everyday life, who is buying and selling it, what happens to it afterward, and, most importantly, what you can do to protect yourself.

Researchers at the University of Sheffield in the U.K. developed small robots called "Pipebots" that can travel inside water pipes to find and potentially repair leaks, all without any excavation.

A groundbreaking new study has uncovered disturbing AI blackmail behavior that many people are unaware of yet.

Four teams of autonomous humanoid robots competed in China's first AI soccer tournament, demonstrating advanced capabilities in ball detection and independent decision-making.

The ID. Buzz autonomous van features self-driving technology with 13 cameras, nine LiDAR units and five radars after Volkswagen partnered with Hamburg and Uber for 2026 deployments.

Social Security phishing scams use urgency and impersonation to steal personal data. Learn how to spot fake SSA emails and implement 10 protective measures.

Toss a Garter or Two

Marriage & Wedding