Home
>
Marriage & Wedding
>
Secrets to Controlling Your Man

Secrets to Controlling Your Man

Ben* has been happily married for 19 years. He recently told me the prime reason he married his wife is because, "She was the only girl I dated who could control me."

I had no idea what he was talking about. I don't know many people, men or women, who enjoy being controlled.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I dated a lot of girls, some of them pretty seriously. I was actually close to being engaged to one of them, but I didn't go through with it because she couldn't control me.

But my wife Christine* could. If I wanted to go out with my friends, she'd say, 'Have fun,' and that was it.

It was such a change from the other girls I dated, who used to give me a hard time, wanted to know where I was going and why they couldn't come with me. I went out for a while with one girl who actually said, 'Okay, but now you owe me' when I wanted to go to a wrestling match with a buddy. It was a major turn-off.

But Christine couldn't care less. Whenever I told her I wanted to go out without her, she'd just smile at me and say, 'Have fun.'"

"How exactly was that controlling you?" I asked. "You got what you wanted."

"Yeah," he said, "But as soon as I went out, I missed her. I knew she wasn't sitting around waiting for me to call. I didn't know what she was doing. And since she didn't give me grief about going out, I didn't feel like I'd made prison break. I ended up wishing I was with her, instead of with my friends."

Lest you think this is sexist, put yourself in Ben's place: Who would you be more attracted to? A guy who calls you three times a day, makes demands on your time, and harasses you when you want to go out with your friends? Or a guy who calls once a day (or a couple of times a week), asks you what you'd like to do over the weekend, and tells you to have fun when you want to go out with your friends?

Wouldn't you want to see the second guy more often?

The lesson here is, if you want a relationship with somebody, you must give him air. Give him his freedom. (It doesn't matter if you have nothing else to do except pre-treat the meatball stains on your blouse, keep it to yourself.) Smile and tell him to have a ball. Then let him wonder how you'll spend your time off.

Is it scary? Sure, it's scary! What if he meets another woman while he's scarfing down nachos at the local tavern? Well, what if he does? He's obviously not the right guy for you, and it's better to know that sooner than later.

But consider this: What if he goes out and notices the happy couples and wishes he were with you instead of his friends? What if it dawns on him that the unattached girls hanging out at the bar can't compare to the woman he really wants (you!)?

What if he spends the night thinking of you, missing you, wondering what you're doing and who you're with? Thinking about what a breath of fresh air you are, a woman who's secure enough to do her own thing and give him some time on his own?

What if?

*Names have been changed.

Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Visit her website at http://www.marrysmart.com

experienced cleaning professionals Des Plaines ..

In The News:

Hyundai AutoEver America suffered a data breach affecting 2,000 current and former employees, exposing names, Social Security numbers and driver's license information.

Washington court rules automated license plate reader images are public records, even when stored by vendors like Flock Safety, setting precedent for transparency.

Fake airline texts claiming flight cancellations are targeting travelers with convincing scams. Learn how cybercriminals steal personal data and credit card info.

Discover how iOS 26's new Adaptive Power feature automatically extends iPhone battery life by learning your usage patterns and adjusting performance intelligently.

New TikTok malware campaign tricks users into running PowerShell commands that download Aura Stealer, which steals credentials and authentication tokens.

Gaia Family offers fixed upfront pricing for IVF cycles with unlimited embryo transfers and financial protection, partnering with over 100 U.S. fertility clinics.

The Jetsons Act aims to position Pennsylvania as a leader in advanced air mobility by establishing regulations for hybrid ground-air vehicles.

Fake Geek Squad invoice emails are targeting users with convincing charges and urgent phone numbers to steal personal information and money.

Fox News Digital's artificial intelligence newsletter digs into a robot in Russia that faceplanted, George Clooney's alarm and OpenAI's rivalry with the New York Times.

Major data breach at Conduent exposes personal information of 10+ million people. Government contractor hit by cyberattack affecting Medicaid, child support systems.

Texas startup Janta Power raises $5.5M for innovative vertical solar towers that generate 50% more energy than traditional panels while using just one-third the land.

NASA's twin ESCAPADE spacecraft launched aboard Blue Origin's New Glenn rocket Thursday afternoon from Cape Canaveral, beginning their journey to Mars with arrival expected in 2027.

Learn how to set email reminders on iPhone and Android so you never forget to reply again. Simple built-in features help you stay organized and on top of messages.

Discover how Apple's passkeys revolutionize Mac security by replacing vulnerable passwords with biometric authentication and encryption for ultimate protection.

New survey reveals 78% of parents fear AI scams targeting their kids, yet nearly half haven't discussed these threats. Learn why this dangerous gap exists.

Chrome now autofills passport and driver's license info automatically. Google's latest browser update adds official document support with encryption and user control.

Scammers impersonate Department of Veterans Affairs employees claiming veterans owe money, but real VA communications only direct to VA.gov or official channels.

The AltoVolo Sigma hybrid-electric aircraft flies 500 miles at 220 mph while operating 80% quieter than helicopters, featuring safety systems and compact design.

Google search scam alert: fake customer service numbers can give scammers remote control of your phone. Learn how to spot these traps and protect yourself.

Electric vehicles overtake gas cars in total CO2 savings after just two years of driving, with emissions benefits growing over time as power grids get cleaner.

Louvre Museum reportedly used "Louvre" as password for surveillance system during $100M jewel heist. Learn how weak passwords put even famous institutions at risk.

Bipartisan AI jobs bill from Sens. Hawley and Warner would require companies to report AI-related layoffs and hiring to Department of Labor quarterly.

Joe A. from Shelton, Connecticut, lost $228,000 to a ZAP Solutions cryptocurrency investment scam after his divorce, highlighting rising online fraud.

AI-powered autonomous trucks from Waabi and Volvo target U.S. freight driver shortage with Level 4 self-driving technology and NVIDIA computing platform integration.

Survive flight disruptions with expert travel tips: Book early morning flights, download airline apps and know your refund rights during service cuts.

Secrets to Controlling Your Man

Marriage & Wedding