Home
>
Marriage & Wedding
>
Wedding Planning: Involve your Fianc? in 10 Easy Steps

Wedding Planning: Involve your Fianc? in 10 Easy Steps

He's popped the question. You've chosen a date. And now, you're swimming in a sea of euphoria with no horizons. Good thing, too, because there are literally a thousand things to arrange before the big day.

You do the research, buckle under and dive in. But you find your fianc?'s ardor for the event itself seems to have cooled. It's not that he isn't mad about marrying you; after all, he is a great guy, even if he can't tell a Vera Wang from a Gunny Sack. It's that his preparation style is hands-off, to say the least. And planning a wedding isn't a job built for one.

So what to do? Here are ten ways to involve him without increasing both of your stress loads:

1) Delegate areas that have a prayer of interesting him.

The worst thing you can do is expect him to match your ten to twenty years of feminine wisdom on the relative merits of buttercream vs. fondant.

Here are some probable no areas when roping in a reluctant wedding planner:

- Selecting the cake frosting
- Choosing the favors or favor packaging
- Selecting the wedding colors or floral arrangements

Then there are the potential maybes, fraught with fewer hazards:

- Choosing the photographer
- Choosing the videographer
- Arranging the rehearsal dinner
- Arranging the all-inclusive honeymoon
- Renting big, tricky items like outdoor tents

These are probable yeses, well worth running by your guy:

- Selecting the DJ or the band
- Setting up and maintaining your wedding website
- Researching and selecting charities, if you choose to donate instead of giving out favors
- Setting up the carriage, limo or other transportation arrangements

2) If you ask him to help you choose vendors and styles, narrow down the choices first.

It's a jungle of options out there, enough to give the most natural-born party planner pause. So if you want his opinion on photographers, invites, flowers or cakes, narrow down the options to three or four. He's less likely to feel overwhelmed, and more likely to feel like an important part of the process.

At times, it'll feel so good to share the load that you'll be tempted to drag him into the buttercream debate despite your better instincts. At these times, take a deep breath, count to ten, and call your mother or your maid of honor.

3) Ask him directly for help.

Let him know how important his input is to you, and that you can't do it without him.

Guys like to be needed. Your frank request for help may be enough to pull him out of his comfort zone and onto your team.

4) Try the Art Director/Production Staff approach.

If you think your guy wants to help, but feels uncomfortable playing "art director," give him "production staff" tasks. Have him make the payments, pick up the food or decor, handle the rentals, do online comparison shopping, or reserve the hotels and reception halls. These are all jobs that will take a load off your shoulders, while freeing up time for the aesthetic stuff you probably enjoy and he doesn't.

5) Get a calendar and put all the planning in black and white.

Your fianc? probably doesn't have the first clue in what goes into a wedding.

Get your wedding planner, write it all down, and show him. Once he gets over the shock, you'll both probably be able to identify areas that interest him. Make lists of the things you've each agreed to do, and cross them off as they get done. At the very least, he'll be far more supportive when he sees what you're going through.

6) Weave his family heritage/ethnicity/traditions into the ceremony.

What did his parents do? He might be surprised at the question, but it could lead somewhere valuable. He might ask his parents about their wedding, and find your wedding consequently enriched. Look through their wedding album together. Are his ancestors German, Polish, Italian, Croatian, Asian? Incorporate some old-world traditions into your ceremony.

7) Don't bring him in too early.

Treat your fiance as a bit of a pinch hitter. Sure, you may be fully aware that you can shave 5K off your costs by starting your favor crafts and reservations 18 months ahead of time. But if he's like most guys, the wedding won't become real to him until it draws closer. Expect him to jump in about six months before the actual ceremony, and break into a (relative) frenzy of activity about one month in advance.

8) Talk about something besides the wedding.

Guys aren't the only ones who complain about brides-to-be talking of nothing but upcoming nuptials. Sometimes, even girlfriends get overwhelmed by all the wedding chatter.

Spend some time alone chatting about anything but the wedding. See a silly movie, split a hot fudge sundae, or watch a basketball game. Do something spontaneous that reminds you both of why you decided to marry in the first place.

9) Check your subtext for hidden meanings.

Tempting as it might be, make sure you're not using your fiance as a coin-toss tool (ever noticed how people flip coins to find out what they really want?). When you ask for his opinion, take it seriously. And when you give him ownership of a task, don't second-guess every step.

Imagine that your fianc? has told you he's going to draft a dream team in his fantasy football league, and it's going to cost him $20K to participate. Now imagine that he's told you your help is supremely important to him.

You'd be a little hesitant to give opinions, right? Some of your ideas might sound feeble, even to your own ears. Hopefully he'd welcome your thoughts, however odd it felt for you to venture them. Now imagine your fianc? feels kind of like that when it comes to the wedding.

10) Remember that men become wedding experts by having one.

Chances are, your sweetheart will open his eyes to the wonder of a wedding by the time the rose petals are tossed. Forever after, he'll be examining friend's receptions with a practiced eye, and anticipating the next excuse for a Really Big Shindig.

So keep him around, and count on throwing a first-rate anniversary celebration ten years down the road. In a way, that'll be the party that really matters, won't it?

Blake Kritzberg is editor at "FavorIdeas.com." Stop by for wedding favor ideas, Save-the-Date eCards, free wedding screensaver, free wedding templates and Bridezilla's weekly adventures at: http://www.favorideas.com

pet-friendly home cleaners Morton Grove ..

In The News:

Cybersecurity firm Infoblox reveals that over 90 percent of parked domains now redirect visitors to scams and malware, making simple typos extremely dangerous.

The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

GPT-5.2 is now live for all ChatGPT users with improved coding, writing and image interpretation, with Kurt Knutsson offering his review.

New iPhone replacement scam uses pressure tactics and fake carrier calls to steal devices from buyers. Criminals claim shipping errors and demand urgent returns.

Amazon Ring's new facial recognition feature sparks privacy controversy as Electronic Frontier Foundation critics argue the AI upgrade expands surveillance risks.

New Android banking trojan Sturnus steals credentials, reads encrypted messages and controls devices.

Denmark's 3D-printed student village proves automation builds 36 apartments faster than traditional methods. Skovsporet project shows housing future.

Discover Android's new Sound Notifications feature that alerts you to smoke alarms, doorbells, and baby cries even when wearing headphones.

New SantaStealer malware reportedly threatens holiday shoppers with password theft. This Christmas-themed info-stealer targets browsers and crypto wallets.

The Christmas season brings a surge in Netflix phishing scams targeting shoppers with fake emails. Stacey P received convincing scam but verified account first.

San Francisco Giants invite Jamie Grohsong to throw ceremonial first pitch at Oracle Park after he learned to play baseball with a bionic hand following an injury.

FBI warns cybercriminals are stealing family photos from social media to create fake proof of life images in virtual kidnapping scams targeting victims.

Instagram's new 'Your Algorithm' tool lets you control your Reels feed in real time. The app now gives you power to customize what videos you see.

Major Marquis fintech breach exposes 400,000-plus Americans' data through unpatched SonicWall vulnerability, with Texas hardest hit at 354,000 affected.

Free up iPhone storage fast by clearing large photos and videos from Messages app. Simple steps for iOS users to delete attachments without losing chats.

Scammers are flooding inboxes with fake tracking alerts that mimic real carriers, exploiting the holiday rush to steal logins and personal data.

The Fox News AI Newsletter brings you the latest news on AI technology advancements and the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Texas family reunites with missing 11-year-old cat Grayson after 103 days using Petco Love Lost's AI photo matching technology and community help.

Tired of AI customer service loops? These insider tricks help you escape "frustration AI" and get real human help when you need it most for urgent issues.

Unlock richer audio from your streaming apps with simple tweaks to volume normalization, equalizer settings, and quality preferences for cleaner sound.

Scammers are sending fake Facebook settlement payout emails that mimic legitimate notices from the privacy settlement administrator to deceive users.

Holiday shopping scams surge as fake refund emails target distracted consumers during Black Friday and holiday seasons, costing Americans billions annually.

The AI-powered IRMO M1 exoskeleton features four modes, including turbo, eco, training and rest for hiking, running, cycling and sports with eight-hour battery life.

OpenAI announced upgrades for its ChatGPT Images platform on Tuesday, saying the program can now make more precise edits and produce images more quickly.

Chrome for Android now turns web articles into AI-powered podcast conversations. Get hands-free browsing with Google Gemini's natural audio summaries.

Wedding Planning: Involve your Fianc? in 10 Easy Steps

Marriage & Wedding