Home
>
Marriage & Wedding
>
Twelve Ways to Make Your Spouse Dislike Sex

Twelve Ways to Make Your Spouse Dislike Sex

It's really not difficult to ruin what could have been great sex. If that's your goal, following these twelve suggestions will ensure that, over time, your spouse will become very creative in finding ways to avoid having sex with you.

Of course, I'm writing this article "tongue in cheek" to make a point. But I can assure you that these behaviors will detract from your sexual relationship with your partner. That's because sexual feelings are vulnerable to being affected by so many other factors, such as self-esteem, expectations, criticism, emotional intimacy, and pressure.

So here are the behaviors guaranteed to be "turn offs" to your spouse. In quote marks is the faulty reasoning that gets marriages into trouble. In parentheses (...), I've added a counterweight to the faulty reasoning.

1. Develop a set routine for when you want to have sex-the same time and same place every week.

"That way, you don't have to wonder when you'll have sex-Sunday night at 9:00 p.m. in the bedroom-just like clock work. No use leaving it to chance, right?"

(How boring. Try adding excitement by surprising your mate with something slightly new and different.)

2. Follow exactly the same "plays" and "moves" each time.

"This way you both know what to expect each time. It's just too much work to come up with different things to try, and after the honeymoon period, it's not really necessary, is it?"

(Instead, remember a variation on the old saying that variety is the spice of life... and of sex).

3. Drink a lot first so that you're loosened up.

"If your mate doesn't like the smell or wishes you wouldn't drink so much before sex, it's just too bad. You can't let your spouse tell you what to do, can you?"

(Consistent and excessive intoxication during sex is a big turn-off and could indicate deeper problems.)

4. Only touch your spouse when your goal is to have sex.

"Save your hugs, wet kisses, and holding hands until you're ready to signal that you want sex. That way your partner will associate your touch with sex and know what to expect, get my drift? Cuts down on misunderstandings, doesn't it?"

(Actually, the best sex can be the result of hours or even days of buildup with no obvious sign of sex on the horizon. During this time, any sign of affection - a touch, a hug, some compliments - can be powerful foreplay that builds to ignite passion.)

5. Expect your spouse to deliver the sexual goods because you're married.

"Your mate knows that every 'good' marriage partner owes sex to the other partner as part of his or her 'duties.' After all, isn't this supposed to be one of the benefits of being married?"

(When sex becomes an obligation, it becomes as appealing as paying taxes. Instead, if your goal is to make the experience breathtaking for your partner, you'll never have to invoke guilt or obligation to get sex.)

6. Push for sex even if your spouse seems reluctant and uninterested as long as he or she says "okay."

"If the verbal agreement is there, ignore the behavioral signals that indicate reluctance. If your spouse didn't really want to have sex, he or she should have said so up front, right?"

(Pay close attention to your mate's body language. That can be more revealing of true interest in sex than words alone. You'll damage your relationship if you forge ahead when your partner only agrees just to get it over with.)

7. Skip foreplay and get to the major action immediately.

"It takes too much time to bother with all that extra stuff. Besides, both of you have to go to work in the morning and need your sleep. You can't afford to waste time."

(The truth is, there is often a direct correlation to the amount of foreplay with the quality of the sex. The better the buildup, the better the payoff.)

8. Criticize your spouse's sexual performance.

"After all, you're only trying to motivate your mate to be a better sexual partner. It's not healthy to keep things in, so he or she will just have to listen to your critique."

(You will get more satisfying performance out of your mate by praising what he or she does that you like, rather than the contrary.)

9. Criticize your spouse's physical appearance.

"If your partner has developed a beer belly or gotten flabby, you're doing him or her a favor to say how much that turns you off. It'll motivate your spouse to lose weight and shape up, which will help him or her in the long run."

(The rule is: use positive strokes to motivate your partner. Negative criticism will poison your sex life.)

10. Answer your cell phone during sex.

"You just never know; this call might be important. Anyway, what's the big deal? It's not like you'll never have sex again. You've been having sex for years now, so why should your partner get upset with an occasional interruption?"

(Respect your partner with your undivided attention to get back the same. Minimize all distractions if possible.)

11. Get it over with as fast as possible as long as you're satisfied.

"Don't ask your partner if there's anything you can do for him or her. Just assume that everything's okay unless your mate says something."

(If satisfaction is not mutual, your sex life will suffer. The simple question a couple can ask each other - "How can I please you?" - works wonders.)

12. Jump up immediately and make your get-away afterwards.

"The faster you get finished, the faster you'll be able to get to sleep. There's no time to waste just lying there talking. You can talk tomorrow over breakfast."

(Emotional closeness is the currency of intimacy and you can achieve it by allowing each other to share honest feelings. Pillow talk after sex is one of the best times for this.)

Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com, where you can also sign up for the free weekly Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get ideas and support for improving your marriage.

cleaning team near Mundelein ..

In The News:

Google Salesforce system breach exposes business data while scammers use incident to target users with fake security calls and phishing attempts.

Google announces Pixel 10 lineup with Tensor G5 chip and Gemini Nano AI, introducing Magic Cue, Pro Res Zoom up to 100x and satellite emergency support features.

C San Diego study reveals 86% of school safety companies monitor students 24/7 on personal devices, raising privacy concerns.

Users can now add their favorite outlets' coverage to the Top Stories section of Google search results by utilizing the 'preferred sources' feature. With just a few clicks, you can add Fox News.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Interstellar object 3I/ATLAS shows an unexpected frontal glow that Harvard's Avi Loeb says cannot be explained by sunlight reflection or standard cometary outgassing.

Receiving order confirmations for purchases you never made could mean your email address is being exploited in fraud operations targeting multiple retailers.

First wireless brain implant works with Apple's official protocol, enabling hands-free control of iPhones, iPads and Vision Pro through thought alone.

Data brokers sell personal details that scammers use to target retirement funds through fake financial advisor calls and convincing phishing attempts

Ten innovative tech solutions from gait sensors to smart pill dispensers help adults 65+ track fall risks and prevent injuries before they happen.

Meta AI internal documents revealed chatbots were allowed to flirt with children and engage in romantic conversations until the company was exposed by Reuters.

ChatGPT will avoid giving direct mental health advice under new OpenAI rules following instances where the AI model provided harmful or misleading responses.

Your phone tracks you in more ways than that little GPS icon suggests. Here’s how to find and clear hidden location logs on iPhone and Android.

Authorities in France and the Netherlands have been notified. Meanwhile, impacted customers are being told to stay alert.

Apple just rolled out a redesigned Blood Oxygen feature to specific models, following a recent victory in a legal dispute.

Kidney dialysis provider DaVita experienced a ransomware breach by the Interlock gang affecting 916,000 people in the second-largest U.S. healthcare attack of 2025.

A Chinese-made Unitree R1 robot walked Manhattan streets and shopped for shoes as part of KraneShares' $28 million AI robotics fund promotion campaign.

The ShinyHunters cybercriminal group breached Google's Salesforce system through vishing attacks, stealing business contact details and customer data.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Researchers turn 4.5 trillion discarded cigarette butts annually into sustainable road construction material, reducing litter and improving asphalt performance.

A security flaw in Google Workspace's Gemini AI enables cybercriminals to manipulate email summaries with invisible commands that bypass current protections.

Dubai's Woohoo restaurant features Chef Aiman, an AI system that reduces kitchen waste by creating new dishes from discarded ingredients and trimmings.

A Texas autonomous trucking pilot uses Bot Auto's Level 4 driverless trucks to transport freight between San Antonio, Dallas and Houston for a door manufacturer.

Bank phishing emails mimic legitimate security alerts from trusted companies to trick users into clicking dangerous links that can compromise accounts and install malware.

The tricky part is that most of us don't check our 401(k) accounts all that often, which makes it harder to spot unusual charges. And that gives cybercriminals the upper hand.

Twelve Ways to Make Your Spouse Dislike Sex

Marriage & Wedding