Have you ever been lost?
My favorite line about being lost comes from an old "M*A*S*H" episode where Hawkeye says, "We're not lost. I've been lost before, and this is not what it looks like."
We all know the drill - you thought you knew where you were going, so you didn't bring a map, and you found yourself so hopelessly turned around that you had no idea where to go next.
Ever feel that way in your relationship?
To Plan or Not to Plan
Consider with me the last vacation you were able to take. Think back to all the planning that was involved, things such as where to go, what to take with you, notifying people you would be gone and even consulting a map on how to get there.
Quite a bit of preparation, conscious thought and planning goes into a successful vacation.
Now, consider this: How much planning and conscious thought has gone into your marriage?
It's truly amazing how some folks will spend more time planning a two-week vacation than they do planning how they would like their marriage relationship to be.
Most of us seem to stumble into relationships and marriage and then continue to kind of make it up as we go along.
Wouldn't it be nice if there was a way to create a map to guide us on our journey through marriage?
Creating a relationship map
Actually, there are several different ways. One of the simplest, and yet most profound, is through modeling.
When you want to do something that you have never done before, you don't have to reinvent the wheel. You simply find someone who has done or is doing what you want to do, discover what they have done or do, and do it as well.
This idea of modeling works so well because success leaves a trail that can be followed.
In terms of marriage, look around your own world for the couples who have the strongest and most enjoyable marriages. That doesn't mean they don't have their share of struggles. It just means they have found a way to manage them in a way that strengthens their marriage.
So how do you find out what their map has been to get them to where they are?
Simple - just ask! While it may seem awkward at first, most folks are honored to be asked and very willing to help.
Here are some questions to ask successful couples about how to build your own relationship map. Start with general questions and then get more specific:
What do you think has made your marriage so successful?
What are the top five things that go into a healthy relationship?
What do you have to believe about your spouse to keep your marriage strong?
How do you handle small conflicts?
How do you handle larger conflicts?
How do you come to agreement about your finances?
How do you come to agreement on how to handle the children?
How do you divide domestic chores?
What do you do on a daily basis to keep the spark alive?
What has been your biggest challenge as a married couple? How did you handle it?
Do you keep the toilet seat up or down?
These are just a sampling of the many questions you can ask successful couples. You can come up with your own or even better questions to help you create your own map.
The most important factor is to simply ask and then put into action what you discover.
Jeff Herring is a Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Syndicated Relationship Columnist. Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for more relationship tips and tools, a free internet newsletter and free e-programs to enrich your relationship.
house refresh service Arlington Heights ..Let's face it, not many of us have the kind... Read More
If you're getting married, a Bridal Show is a great... Read More
There's no way to absolutely guarantee that your marriage won't... Read More
Today's tech savvy couples are plugging in and creating unique... Read More
Think your bridal gown is the most important garment you'll... Read More
Choosing a wedding anniversary gift that wows your husband or... Read More
You've found the perfect venue: old oaks, a stone wall,... Read More
Wedding Invitations should be ordered when you have all the... Read More
This is something that we've started to send to all... Read More
With so much to do, every bride needs a surefire... Read More
A bridal shower is an excellent way for the bride... Read More
A dynamic that prevents real connection in a relationship is... Read More
Caricature entertainment will make your wedding celebration stand out and... Read More
Movies, sitcoms and soapies made in the United States could... Read More
Wedding ceremonies are the stuff fairy tales are made of.... Read More
Your wedding party is a major factor in the success... Read More
You want the perfect wedding dress, so you have made... Read More
When it comes to placing your new diamond in a... Read More
Planning a second wedding? Prevent favorite guests comparing your second... Read More
The invitation is the first impression of the type of... Read More
It really doesn't matter if you are planning to have... Read More
"Couples who've had sex before marriage will inevitably have sexual... Read More
Here are five seeds of a great marriage from grandmother.... Read More
The most enjoyable part of the wedding reception is the... Read More
According to the Encarta Dictionary, love is an intense feeling... Read More
Airbnb cleaning service Bannockburn ..My husband had two affairs last year. I am pretty... Read More
Your success in marriage depends largely upon having sound and... Read More
According to a survey conducted in 2003 by Bride's magazine,... Read More
These verses of Scripture from St. Paul are commonly used... Read More
It used to be that if you wanted to buy... Read More
Beach weddings are popular but they do present "special issues".Failing... Read More
Is the cost of your wedding putting the honeymoon of... Read More
Recently, I stumbled across something on the internet. A particular... Read More
Many of the Jewish wedding traditions are derived from ancient... Read More
How much should you spend on a diamond engagement ring?$100?$1000?How... Read More
Imagine it's Halloween evening and you've just gone to the... Read More
White is traditionally a symbol of purity and as it... Read More
Mens diamond rings are becoming more and more popular with... Read More
Wedding favors have always been a nice, personal gesture to... Read More
Before George W Bush became a President, John Quincy Adams... Read More
It is absolutely possible to find a beautiful and affordable... Read More
If there are wedding bells in your future, then surely... Read More
Wedding flowers make up a large part of the wedding... Read More
On Friday, 1st May 1835, Mr Charles Dickens, the creator... Read More
Healthy marriages require time, attention, energy, and vigilance. It's not... Read More
The enchanting Belize honeymoon resorts captivate every visitor through the... Read More
In the beginning of a relationship, love seems to have... Read More
The great day has come and gone, and you are... Read More
Most people are aware that significant wedding anniversaries such as... Read More
Her dreams of marriage and collected marriage values disintegrate when... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |