Have you ever been lost?
My favorite line about being lost comes from an old "M*A*S*H" episode where Hawkeye says, "We're not lost. I've been lost before, and this is not what it looks like."
We all know the drill - you thought you knew where you were going, so you didn't bring a map, and you found yourself so hopelessly turned around that you had no idea where to go next.
Ever feel that way in your relationship?
To Plan or Not to Plan
Consider with me the last vacation you were able to take. Think back to all the planning that was involved, things such as where to go, what to take with you, notifying people you would be gone and even consulting a map on how to get there.
Quite a bit of preparation, conscious thought and planning goes into a successful vacation.
Now, consider this: How much planning and conscious thought has gone into your marriage?
It's truly amazing how some folks will spend more time planning a two-week vacation than they do planning how they would like their marriage relationship to be.
Most of us seem to stumble into relationships and marriage and then continue to kind of make it up as we go along.
Wouldn't it be nice if there was a way to create a map to guide us on our journey through marriage?
Creating a relationship map
Actually, there are several different ways. One of the simplest, and yet most profound, is through modeling.
When you want to do something that you have never done before, you don't have to reinvent the wheel. You simply find someone who has done or is doing what you want to do, discover what they have done or do, and do it as well.
This idea of modeling works so well because success leaves a trail that can be followed.
In terms of marriage, look around your own world for the couples who have the strongest and most enjoyable marriages. That doesn't mean they don't have their share of struggles. It just means they have found a way to manage them in a way that strengthens their marriage.
So how do you find out what their map has been to get them to where they are?
Simple - just ask! While it may seem awkward at first, most folks are honored to be asked and very willing to help.
Here are some questions to ask successful couples about how to build your own relationship map. Start with general questions and then get more specific:
What do you think has made your marriage so successful?
What are the top five things that go into a healthy relationship?
What do you have to believe about your spouse to keep your marriage strong?
How do you handle small conflicts?
How do you handle larger conflicts?
How do you come to agreement about your finances?
How do you come to agreement on how to handle the children?
How do you divide domestic chores?
What do you do on a daily basis to keep the spark alive?
What has been your biggest challenge as a married couple? How did you handle it?
Do you keep the toilet seat up or down?
These are just a sampling of the many questions you can ask successful couples. You can come up with your own or even better questions to help you create your own map.
The most important factor is to simply ask and then put into action what you discover.
Jeff Herring is a Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Syndicated Relationship Columnist. Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for more relationship tips and tools, a free internet newsletter and free e-programs to enrich your relationship.
quick home cleaning Winnetka ..How do you handle arguments that lead to heated exchanges... Read More
One of the best benefits of marriage is that you... Read More
Overwhelmed is a common feeling a bride-to-be experiences as she... Read More
The kids are yelling, the dog is barking, and you... Read More
Wedding favors are a delightful detail for any wedding shower,... Read More
Wedding photography is an evolving field that requires artistic talent,... Read More
Your wedding vows are the words that will forever remain... Read More
The Arizona Inn is just the place that you are... Read More
One of the biggest on-going problems for couples is how... Read More
A 2005 mother of bride dress tends to have a... Read More
Let's face it retirement is a time of great transition... Read More
The tradition of hosting a bridal shower for the bride... Read More
Today's tech savvy couples are plugging in and creating unique... Read More
This is intended as a guide to help you plan... Read More
Wedding planning is a difficult task for everyone. Unless you... Read More
WHAT HAS WORKED FOR USBrief Reflections On Enjoying 36 Years... Read More
Mattresses and marriage go hand in hand. Sleep is important... Read More
If you're planning your wedding day then you'll be all... Read More
Undoubtedly, the groom will want to choose a few good... Read More
Chocolate fountains, once a rarity at weddings, are becoming more... Read More
A frustrating lack of permanence plagues modern relationships. Approximately one... Read More
You have to start with a thorough to do list... Read More
Nestled in the beautiful Smoky Mountains, Gatlinburg's romantic and beautiful... Read More
If you are looking forward to a vacation of attractive... Read More
Planning a bridal shower? Maybe a dear friend or even... Read More
whole house cleaning Park Ridge ..A couple should trust each other in many ways. When... Read More
When it comes to your wedding services, nobody wants to... Read More
Tina Turner asked an important question in the title of... Read More
There's no one simple answer to the question that I'm... Read More
With the average cost of a wedding around ?17,000 you... Read More
Wedding ceremonies are the stuff fairy tales are made of.... Read More
No matter how well you plan all the aspects of... Read More
Congratulations! You have found the man of your dreams and... Read More
Whatever your religious affiliation, or whatever you'd like to experience,... Read More
For many centuries wedding favors have been a part of... Read More
Speculation continues about the break-up of Brad Pitt and Jennifer... Read More
Bless the bride... and God help the video maker. True.... Read More
Selecting a wedding ring isn't as easy as it looks.... Read More
You've made the plunge, you've decided to get married. Congratulations!Don't... Read More
For a bride, shopping for bridesmaid dresses can be one... Read More
Tahiti honeymoon resorts are the best places you could think... Read More
Trust is the basis of all human relationships. Trust can... Read More
Your wedding flowers cover all button holes, all the bouquets,... Read More
If bar-hopping and male strippers aren't the bride's idea of... Read More
The typical wedding reception entertainment scheme of pretty flowers and... Read More
Let's think about what goes into your wedding budget. Your... Read More
Think creatively and add a personal touch to your special... Read More
The sole purpose of save-the-date cards is to give the... Read More
India is a diverse, multi-cultural country with people of various... Read More
Thanking your wedding party with special gifts is a favored... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |