Relationship Advice: A Map for Your Marriage

Have you ever been lost?

My favorite line about being lost comes from an old "M*A*S*H" episode where Hawkeye says, "We're not lost. I've been lost before, and this is not what it looks like."

We all know the drill - you thought you knew where you were going, so you didn't bring a map, and you found yourself so hopelessly turned around that you had no idea where to go next.

Ever feel that way in your relationship?

To Plan or Not to Plan

Consider with me the last vacation you were able to take. Think back to all the planning that was involved, things such as where to go, what to take with you, notifying people you would be gone and even consulting a map on how to get there.

Quite a bit of preparation, conscious thought and planning goes into a successful vacation.

Now, consider this: How much planning and conscious thought has gone into your marriage?

It's truly amazing how some folks will spend more time planning a two-week vacation than they do planning how they would like their marriage relationship to be.

Most of us seem to stumble into relationships and marriage and then continue to kind of make it up as we go along.

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a way to create a map to guide us on our journey through marriage?

Creating a relationship map

Actually, there are several different ways. One of the simplest, and yet most profound, is through modeling.

When you want to do something that you have never done before, you don't have to reinvent the wheel. You simply find someone who has done or is doing what you want to do, discover what they have done or do, and do it as well.

This idea of modeling works so well because success leaves a trail that can be followed.

In terms of marriage, look around your own world for the couples who have the strongest and most enjoyable marriages. That doesn't mean they don't have their share of struggles. It just means they have found a way to manage them in a way that strengthens their marriage.

So how do you find out what their map has been to get them to where they are?

Simple - just ask! While it may seem awkward at first, most folks are honored to be asked and very willing to help.

Here are some questions to ask successful couples about how to build your own relationship map. Start with general questions and then get more specific:

What do you think has made your marriage so successful?

What are the top five things that go into a healthy relationship?

What do you have to believe about your spouse to keep your marriage strong?

How do you handle small conflicts?

How do you handle larger conflicts?

How do you come to agreement about your finances?

How do you come to agreement on how to handle the children?

How do you divide domestic chores?

What do you do on a daily basis to keep the spark alive?

What has been your biggest challenge as a married couple? How did you handle it?

Do you keep the toilet seat up or down?

These are just a sampling of the many questions you can ask successful couples. You can come up with your own or even better questions to help you create your own map.

The most important factor is to simply ask and then put into action what you discover.

Jeff Herring is a Relationship Coach, Speaker, and Syndicated Relationship Columnist. Visit secretsofgreatrelationships.com for more relationship tips and tools, a free internet newsletter and free e-programs to enrich your relationship.

house refresh service Arlington Heights ..
In The News:

Holiday shopping scams surge as fake refund emails target distracted consumers during Black Friday and holiday seasons, costing Americans billions annually.
The AI-powered IRMO M1 exoskeleton features four modes, including turbo, eco, training and rest for hiking, running, cycling and sports with eight-hour battery life.
OpenAI announced upgrades for its ChatGPT Images platform on Tuesday, saying the program can now make more precise edits and produce images more quickly.
Chrome for Android now turns web articles into AI-powered podcast conversations. Get hands-free browsing with Google Gemini's natural audio summaries.
LastPass faces $1.6 million fine from U.K. regulators after 2022 data breach exposed 1.6 million users. Password manager failed proper security controls.
Petco disclosed a data breach exposing customer Social Security numbers, financial account details, and driver's license information due to a software error.
Baseball teams can now analyze complete swing mechanics in normal training environments using Theia's markerless AI system that processes standard high-speed footage.
Smart home hacking fears overblown? Expert reveals real cybersecurity risks and simple protection tips to keep your connected devices safe from hackers.
MIT develops needle-free glucose monitor using light technology. Revolutionary device could replace painful finger pricks for diabetes management.
The ClickFix campaign disguises malware as legitimate Windows updates, using steganography to hide shellcode in PNG files and bypass security detection systems.
Researchers from Osaka Metropolitan University designed a 21-foot dome that combines aquaculture and hydroponics to create a self-sustaining urban food system.
The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.
ChatGPT data breach exposes personal info of users through partner Mixpanel. OpenAI confirms names, emails compromised in security incident.
Android rolls out Emergency Live Video for 911 calls, letting dispatchers see real-time scenes during emergencies. Great for holiday travel safety.
Malicious Chrome and Edge extensions collected browsing history, keystrokes and personal data from millions of users before Google and Microsoft removed them.
Google's new Call Reason feature lets Android users mark calls as urgent before dialing, displaying an urgent label to recipients using Phone by Google app.
Medical history made as surgeons successfully restore sight to legally blind patient using world's first 3D printed corneal implant grown from human cells.
Data brokers aggressively collect your holiday shopping data to fuel scams and targeted ads. Learn how to delete your digital profile before 2025 starts.
Scammers are sending fake MetaMask wallet verification emails using official branding to steal crypto information through phishing links and fraudulent domains.
Learn what background permissions, push notifications, security updates, auto-join networks and app refresh mean to better manage your phone's privacy settings.
Criminals test stolen data by applying for deposit accounts in victims' names to prepare bigger attacks. Learn why banks won't share fraud details.
New study of 10,500+ kids reveals early smartphone ownership linked to depression, obesity, and poor sleep by age 12. Earlier phones mean higher risks.
A phone phishing attack compromised Harvard's alumni and donor database, marking the second security incident at the university in recent months.
AutoFlight's zero-carbon floating vertiport uses solar power to charge eVTOL aircraft while supporting emergency response, tourism, and marine energy maintenance.
A new phone return scam targets recent buyers with fake carrier calls. Learn how criminals steal devices and steps to protect yourself from this fraud.

Wedding Planning -- Staying Within Your Wedding Budget

Planning and organizing a wedding budget can greatly reduce the... Read More

Me Tarzan! You Jane!

Once upon a time a caveman, while out for a... Read More

Wonderful White Gold Wedding Rings

The elegant and sophisticated look of glittering, gleaming gold. There's... Read More

Finding the Perfect Bridesmaid Gift

The bridesmaid gift is essential to the planning of a... Read More

Understanding Celtic Wedding Rings

Thousands of years ago, the Celts, a group of independent... Read More

How to Plan Your Wedding and Honeymoon

1. Weddings typically can cost you anywhere around $15,000 or... Read More

Wedding Planning 101: Create a Wedding Planner

Did your wonderful husband-to-be recently "pop the question" and now... Read More

Choosing your Wedding Favors

How do you give thanks and make a lasting impression... Read More

The History of Engagement Rings and Wedding Bands

These days, many people take wedding bands and engagement rings... Read More

The Loveliest Las Vegas Wedding Reception

If you are actually planning your Las Vegas wedding reception,... Read More

Attracting Marital Fulfillment, Its Not To Late To Start Right Now

As a personal and professional development coach, I have listened... Read More

Eight Cheap Honeymoon Ideas for Couples on a Budget

Between paying for the wedding and setting up a new... Read More

Send Flowers and Liberate Your Bridal Party From the Shackles Of Monogram Hell

With so many ways to ask your closest friends and... Read More

Wedding Shower Invitations: An Overview

The purpose of a wedding shower is to celebrate the... Read More

Bridal Shower Games?The Good, the Bad and the Overdone

Games can make or break a shower. The best can... Read More

Engagement Rings & Celebrities

Whether we like it or not current trends in engagement... Read More

A Butterfly Release; Alternatives to Throwing Rice

Brides are looking for different ways to make their wedding... Read More

The Most Important Things In Marriage

When it comes to marriage, there are things that you... Read More

Dressing Your Bridesmaids

For a bride, shopping for bridesmaid dresses can be one... Read More

Wedding Save the Date Cards?Best Ideas and Wording

The sole purpose of save-the-date cards is to give the... Read More

Wedding Favor Creator

Wedding favors have always been a nice, personal gesture to... Read More

A Wedding Shower Checklist

Bridal showers are one of many pre-wedding parties and are... Read More

Love

According to the Encarta Dictionary, love is an intense feeling... Read More

Online Wedding Dress Shopping!

Taking the hassle out of finding your perfect and unique... Read More

Top 5 Wedding Favors and Why

WHAT ARE THE TOP FIVE WEDDING FAVORS AND WHY?At most... Read More

Airbnb cleaning service Bannockburn ..