Home
>
Marriage & Wedding
>
Marriage Counseling Tips: 7 Ways to Handle Conflict in Marriage

Marriage Counseling Tips: 7 Ways to Handle Conflict in Marriage

How do you handle arguments that lead to heated exchanges with your spouse? Do you value being right over preserving the quality of your relationship? And how long do you stay angry after you've had a fight?

How you answer these questions offers a clue into how secure your marriage is. Unfortunately, too many married couples let unbridled confrontations tear the fabric of their relationship.

Every couple has misunderstandings, miscommunication, and disagreements. It's human nature to see things from your own viewpoint. And it's easy to forget that your spouse's viewpoint is just as valid as yours.

Here are some tips when preparing for talks about emotional issues with your partner:

1. Take time to center yourself emotionally by sitting quietly for a few minutes. You might take deep belly breaths and count your out-breaths to keep yourself focused in the present moment, or you might meditate or pray during this time.

2. Notice any negative "chatter" in your mind and replace it with a positive statement, such as "Each time I really focus on listening intently to my spouse instead of jumping in to criticize, I'm improving our working relationship." Or "I know that we can resolve this problem about how to handle our difficulties."

3. Expect to be able to get along, talk respectfully and courteously to each other, and find creative solutions to problems. You influence what happens in interactions with others by your expectations about what you think will happen. In other words, you often get what you expect.

4. Suspend judgment and criticism so that you're prepared to really hear your spouse. Resolve to listen deeply so that you can understand the fears and concerns that are layered beneath her (or his) surface words. When you can identify and understand her deeper concerns, you're more likely to find an acceptable solution.

5. Make sure that you speak to your spouse with words that are respectful. Avoid profanity and refrain from personal attacks on your spouse. It's quite different to say "I really don't understand what you're saying. Can you please explain?" instead of "This sounds like another one of your idiotic ideas."

6. Be willing to look at your own position and admit it whenever you are wrong. This takes humility and critical self evaluation. But it will buy goodwill with your spouse. And it could set an example that he (or she) may decide to emulate.

7. Don't carry around resentment after an argument. Try to respectfully express your feelings and then let them go. Then try to reestablish closeness as soon as possible. Make an effort to make up by focusing on what you do agree on, and on what you like about your spouse.

Lee Hefner is the co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This e-book is available at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com. You can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get weekly ideas and support to help you save your marriage.

maid service near Mundelein ..

In The News:

Criminals test stolen data by applying for deposit accounts in victims' names to prepare bigger attacks. Learn why banks won't share fraud details.

New study of 10,500+ kids reveals early smartphone ownership linked to depression, obesity, and poor sleep by age 12. Earlier phones mean higher risks.

A phone phishing attack compromised Harvard's alumni and donor database, marking the second security incident at the university in recent months.

AutoFlight's zero-carbon floating vertiport uses solar power to charge eVTOL aircraft while supporting emergency response, tourism, and marine energy maintenance.

A new phone return scam targets recent buyers with fake carrier calls. Learn how criminals steal devices and steps to protect yourself from this fraud.

New Anthropic research reveals how AI reward hacking leads to dangerous behaviors, including models giving harmful advice like drinking bleach to users seeking help.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Holiday email scams, including non-delivery fraud and gift card schemes, spike in November and December, costing victims hundreds of millions, the FBI says.

Holiday visits offer the perfect opportunity to help older parents with technology updates, scam protection and basic troubleshooting skills for safer digital experiences.

Swiss scientists create grain-sized robot that surgeons control with magnets to deliver medicine precisely through blood vessels in medical breakthrough.

Researchers exploited WhatsApp's API vulnerability to scrape 3.5 billion phone numbers. Learn how this massive data breach happened and protect yourself.

Travel companies share passenger data with third parties during holidays, but travelers can protect themselves by removing data from broker sites and using aliases.

Xpeng's humanoid robot moves so realistically that crowds believed it was fake, marking a major advancement in robotics technology ahead of 2026 commercial launch.

Researchers discover phishing scam using invisible characters to evade email security, with protection tips including password managers and two-factor authentication.

iPhone and Android users can reduce battery drain and data usage by restricting Background App Refresh to Wi-Fi connections instead of mobile networks.

Scammers nearly stole an Apple account by exploiting the support system with authentic-looking tickets and phone calls, users can protect themselves with safety steps.

FoloToy restored sales of its AI teddy bear Kumma after a weeklong suspension following safety group findings of risky and inappropriate responses to children.

Threat intelligence firm Synthient uncovers one of the largest password exposures ever, prompting immediate security recommendations.

Viral video shared by Elon Musk shows Tesla's Optimus humanoid robots performing tasks from cooking to construction, garnering over 58.5 million views on social media.

Chinese hackers used Anthropic's Claude AI to launch autonomous cyberattacks on 30 organizations worldwide, marking a major shift in cybersecurity threats.

Apple's new Sleep Score feature gives you a rating for your nightly rest quality. Learn how to set it up on your Apple Watch and iPhone today.

Essential phone settings to enable before losing your device, including Find My network, location services and security features for iPhone and Android.

The Fox News AI Newsletter gives readers the latest AI technology advancements, covering the challenges and opportunities AI presents.

Cybersecurity research shows weak passwords remain a major threat, with simple patterns and number sequences putting millions of accounts at risk.

New Android malware BankBot YNRK silences phones, steals banking data and drains crypto wallets automatically. Learn how this advanced threat works.

Marriage Counseling Tips: 7 Ways to Handle Conflict in Marriage

Marriage & Wedding