According to the Encarta Dictionary, love is an intense feeling of tender affection and compassion; a passionate feeling or romantic desire and sexual attraction. Erich Fromm made these comments:
Immature love says: I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'
In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.
Love is union with somebody, or something, outside oneself, under the condition of retaining the separateness and integrity of one's own self.
In the classic book, The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm writes that "To be loved, and to love, need courage, the courage to judge certain values as of ultimate concern-and to take the jump and stake everything on these values."
In Forrest Gump, the movie, Forrest expresses this in the famous line, "Jenny, I may be stupid, but I know what love is."
So what is love?
In my mind, love is a marriage union between souls. It is profound positive feelings actualized in affectionate behaviors toward the love object. Note the Bible passage on love, 1 Corinthians 13.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Though discussing love, this scriptural pericope does not refer to feelings or emotions. Instead, it talks about attitudes, such as patience, and actions, such as not boasting. It describes the result of love. When you love, you are inspired to behave in certain caring ways. For example, if you love your partner, you will be motivated to do everything possible to promote his or her well being. If he or she is unusually weary some night, out of love, you may volunteer to perform a duty that he or she would otherwise be responsible for.
For all intent and purposes, there are three forms of love. The first is the Greek Eros and is used to designate erotic, romantic, physical love. It can be one of the peak pleasures in human experience if not abused and misused.
The Greeks also has a second definition of love, and that is Philia which is where the word philanthropy is derived. Philia means brotherly love. We all know Philadelphia as the city of brotherly love. Philia does not contain romantic love. Philia is the love you and I have for our parents, siblings, friends, family members, and so forth. It does not contain Eros.
The third definition of love is called Agape. Agape means unconditional love for someone. It means loving someone without expecting love in return. Parents can relate to this, especially a mother. Perhaps this may be a difficult concept to comprehend in today's society because this type of love requires sacrifice and selflessness.
Agape is different from both Eros and Philia in that inherent in agape love is an overflowing altruism that seeks nothing in return. The end of agape is not the well-being of the self, but the well-being of the other. It is the type of love that characterized the non-violent philosophies of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi.
In my experience, the one common mistake that many couples make is equating "true" love with Eros love only. Real love, I believe, requires all three types of love. Far too many relationships today are based on one type of love. If your relationship fails to include all three types of love, you may be mixing a recipe for disaster. When the first few years are past, one or two children have entered the scene, daily living becomes more difficult (and believe me, it will); and Eros love loses a little bit of its spice, most people bail out of relationships. So I hope you can appreciate the value of applying all three types of love in your relationship and marriage.
Eros love is essential to every relationship; philia love is equally important, and of course, agape love binds all three.
Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, veteran social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach which can be reviewed on her site. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: My Grief Management Workbook, is expected to be available soon.
You are welcome to visit amen ministries: your soul's service station for spiritual refreshing, soul edification or to browse our newly expanded mini shopping mall.
Blessings to all!
custom home cleaning Bannockburn ..Astrology is considered to be the oldest of all sciences,... Read More
Getting the wedding tables right can make a big difference... Read More
When you come to choose a wedding gift it's no... Read More
If you are at all familiar with Las Vegas, you... Read More
Many of the Jewish wedding traditions are derived from ancient... Read More
Wedding day is known as the most unforgettable day in... Read More
It's time to look for a banquet facility. Most clients... Read More
Mens diamond rings are becoming more and more popular with... Read More
Just like anywhere else in America, there are a variety... Read More
If you are actually planning your Las Vegas wedding reception,... Read More
White is traditionally a symbol of purity and as it... Read More
Every bride wants a fairytale wedding. Therefore, this article is... Read More
Honor your Emerald Isle heritage with traditions that are romantic,... Read More
You've been engaged for months, you've made it through planning... Read More
When it came to love-making, Napoleon, that short plump bundle... Read More
No one said that you had to follow the rule... Read More
Diamond engagement rings for many years typically came in the... Read More
Once you've mortgaged the rest of your life for the... Read More
There are many options available to adorn your flower girl... Read More
Think your bridal gown is the most important garment you'll... Read More
Everybody talks about wedding invitations, but what about all the... Read More
In our hungry-for-anything new pop culture world, celebrities are often... Read More
The extravagance of weddings is a popular topic. We blame... Read More
Make your upcoming event the most memorable ever by adding... Read More
When two people - destined for each other, come together,... Read More
disinfecting cleaning services Winnetka ..Thousands of years ago, the Celts, a group of independent... Read More
Most brides become obsessed with throwing the perfect wedding. The... Read More
Not only do individuals who follow Time Magazine's "Eight Steps... Read More
Your wedding is quite possibly the most important day of... Read More
So you have been invited to a wedding. Whether you... Read More
Your wedding is supposed to be the most important day... Read More
Love should not blind a couple to the realities of... Read More
The extravagance of weddings is a popular topic. We blame... Read More
Are you in the process of planning that last special... Read More
It's your day! The most special day of your life,... Read More
For a bride, shopping for bridesmaid dresses can be one... Read More
Just the thought of all the expenses that come with... Read More
You are locked in your seat on the most famous... Read More
Time was when you'd open a wedding invitation you'd find... Read More
If you're planning your wedding day then you'll be all... Read More
If you've always dreamed of flying in a helicopter, Las... Read More
A 2005 mother of bride dress tends to have a... Read More
Only in Las Vegas can you find everything for your... Read More
People are looking for life-long relationships in the most peculiar... Read More
Selecting a wedding photographer can be a daunting task. Not... Read More
THE sunshine had come out to ensure the wedding of... Read More
Bless the bride... and God help the video maker. True.... Read More
As we hear the music begin to play the Bridal... Read More
Are you a Bride-to-Be? Wonderful! Congratulations! But what's that enormous... Read More
The sole purpose of save-the-date cards is to give the... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |