Home
>
Marriage & Wedding
>
Which Came First, Love or Marriage?

Which Came First, Love or Marriage?

I came across an article today: LOVE AND MARRIAGE THE TORAH'S CRITERIA by Rivka Olenick.

It helped me think about my own marriage, and the way that many couples approach the idea of being together before they get married vs. what they think after the wedding. People often believe they know what love is after seeing a limited view of their spouse-to-be.

When they're asked, "why do you guys want to get married?" They say, "I just love the way he [fill in the blank]." or "She and I have so much in common".

But when a real test comes, like always having to pick her socks or dealing with his less than average meals (sic), both parties become greatly disenchanted. After they have the opportunity to discover more about the other person, the "love" fades and resentment moves in.

So what does it take to make it work? Of the happy couples I've talked with, most attribute their happiness to the real love that grows after marriage. Often times it's not a pretty love. Partners may have to get dirty, like gardeners who expect good things to grow after they've done the work and have overcome their selfishness.

This kind of love grows when they lose a loved one but can find comfort from God and each other during their grief. It's the kind of love that develops when they are in danger of losing their house or job, but can see beyond their circumstances. Or it's the kind that matures when they're able to overcome adultery and find forgiveness not only heals, but seals their bond to one another.

This love is not an overnight love. It doesn't come quick, and it is a challenge for our microwave society. But these couples keep pressing on, believing that happiness can be achieved. Fortunately, for most persevering couples, it is.

For all those people out there who are engaged or thinking about marriage, my suggestion to you? Find one of these couples who can be trusted. Model them and let them mentor you. If you don't know someone personally, email couples@marriagementors.org to find out how to get help with your relationship.

Finally, I'd like to leave you with this thought from the article I read:

"...marriages are contracted not as a result of passion and romance, but as a result of good judgment and sound reason. If the couple is well suited, the marriage will result in love and happiness. Marriages based on pre-marital infatuation, however, all too often fail the test of married life."

Keep your faith during the hard times. Keep your head when you want to lose it. And your heart will believe in a love greater than you can imagine.

Keishia Lee-Louis is the Editor and Publisher of http://www.married4good.com (launching November 2005). Her work has appeared on iVillage.com, BibleResourceCenter.com, and in numerous other printed publications.

Currently, she lives with her husband, daughter and son and is writing a book on marriage and relationships which will be published Spring 2006.

If you'd like to see more of her work, visit http://www.married4good.com

custom home cleaning Buffalo Grove ..

In The News:

SessionReaper vulnerability hits Magento and Adobe Commerce stores, compromising 250+ sites in one day. Hackers steal data and hijack shopping sessions.

Master essential parental controls and digital safety tools to protect your kids online. Learn screen time limits, location settings and privacy controls every parent needs.

Cybersecurity expert shares six essential steps to protect against dark web threats, including data removal services, password managers and antivirus software.

NVIDIA GPU space mission could revolutionize cloud services by enabling orbital data centers that make apps, games and AI tools faster and more efficient.

Stay up to date on the latest AI technology advancements and learn about the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

Microsoft warns Windows 10 users face serious security risks as 90% of ransomware attacks target unsupported systems. Learn why upgrading to Windows 11 is crucial.

Nike unveils Project Amplify, revolutionary motorized shoes developed with Dephy that add powered assistance to every step for runners and walkers.

Cybersecurity experts warn about one of the largest credential compilations ever found, urging users to check "Have I Been Pwned" and change passwords immediately.

Quick iPhone and Android battery optimization techniques help your device stay powered all day by turning off hidden features that secretly drain power in the background.

Kodiak Driver autonomous truck achieves perfect 98 safety score, matching top human fleets in groundbreaking AI evaluation by Nauto's VERA system.

New 401k catch-up contribution rules in 2026 will change taxes for high earners over 50. Learn how scammers exploit these changes and protect your retirement savings.

Kurt Knutsson's guide covers social media privacy protection through location settings, account privacy controls and two-factor authentication to prevent scams and data breaches.

Revolutionary retinal implant restores central vision in 80% of patients with advanced macular degeneration, offering hope where treatments once only slowed blindness.

Learn how to use passkeys on Windows and Mac computers without cameras or fingerprint readers. Discover secure authentication methods that replace passwords.

Tesla's FSD v14.1.2 update reintroduces Mad Max mode, enabling higher speeds and more frequent lane changes than the standard Hurry profile setting.

A phishing email scam targeting American Express customers shows how cybercriminals use fake urgent messages to steal personal and financial information.

Facebook's new Meta AI feature analyzes your camera roll photos to create polished collages automatically, but requires cloud processing and raises privacy concerns.

A New Jersey teenager filed a major lawsuit against AI/Robotics Venture Strategy 3 Ltd. over ClothOff, an AI tool that created fake nude images from her social media photos.

Microsoft reports Storm-2657 cybercriminals sent phishing emails to 6,000 addresses at 25 universities to steal payroll credentials and redirect funds.

Astronomers have discovered asteroid 2025 SC79, a skyscraper-sized space rock orbiting the sun in just 128 days. the second-fastest known.

The Fox News AI Newsletter delivers the latest developments form the world of artificial intelligence, including the technology's challenges and opportunities.

A cyberattack on SimonMed Imaging exposed personal information of 1.2 million patients, including medical records, financial details and identity papers.

Spotify's managed accounts for kids under 13 now available in at least seven countries, allowing parents to filter and block explicit content and songs.

Friendly text conversations about BBQs and social events can lead to WEEX gold trading scams that target older adults with fake investment opportunities.

California company Skyeports creates self-healing glass spheres from Moon regolith that generate solar power and support plant growth for sustainable lunar living.

Which Came First, Love or Marriage?

Marriage & Wedding