Home
>
Marriage & Wedding
>
Whats a Goldfish Doing at a Wedding?

Whats a Goldfish Doing at a Wedding?

Time was when you'd open a wedding invitation you'd find an understated high quality piece of parchment, with an uncompromisingly clear font, requesting, ever so formally, the honour of your presence.

Then came radical changes, described by those in the know as, giving the wedding back to the people. The creation of the ubiquitous Civil Marriage Celebrant ? and anything goes era.

Stealthily at first came sneaking on to the front page of the invitation miniscule wedding bells, intertwining wedding rings and peaceful doves with their wings folded as if wondering what the heck they were doing there.

Traditionalists ? and those too poor to follow the trend ? cried out against this bad taste. Nor were they wrong to fear the full thrust of indulgence to come. Invitations, masquerading as old time scrolls, and delivered by Knights right from King Arthur's court, began to appear at suburban doors. Following the Knights came Wizards from Ali Baba's enchanted cave.

There is no saying where all this would end, when the PC was born and stemmed the tide.

Overnight, so it seems, the excesses transformed themselves into cottage industry, and the traditionalists who had howled at the excess engendered by the coming of the Civil Marriage Celebrant could only stare in horror at the shambles created by the advent of the PC and its companion, the Bubble Jet printer.

Out the window went the parchment and the honour of your presence. Taking it's place was a piece of brown recycled paper, with some unrecognizable font, proclaiming cheerily, "Jim and I are getting married, come and have some fun with us next Sunday."

"Fun?" my husband of 40 odd years snorted. "They're getting married to have fun?" Being something of an etymologist (fancier of words for the rest of us) he began to thumb the well-worn dictionary to find out what fun meant and when he'd had it last. But that's another story.

Getting back to the invitations, and the appearance of computers, the wedding bells and the hearts and rings and flowers were given a swift shrift. Instead we puzzled at wedding invitations covered with cats, dogs, butterflies and yes, the latest one, two gold fish.

There they were on the envelope, swimming demurely side by side on the sea of white, while the invitation itself was awash with them. It took an hour, plus a strong magnifying glass before I could decipher the words.

Bring no gifts, was the first bit of welcome information I fished out of the jumble. We have everything we need. We have each other. Oh, the naivet? of infatuation! "But if you would like to bring a gift," continued the missive, "please bring something for our goldfish."

About the Author

Vlady is one of Australia's longest serving Civil Marriage Celebrants. She is the author of 'The Complete Book of Australian Weddings' and 'The Small Organisation Handbook'.

Visit her at http://www.vlady-celebrant.com

no-contract cleaning service Deerfield ..

In The News:

Choose between OpenAI releasing Sora text-to-video model, the AI race heating up, or Waymo driverless cars launching in cities across the country

Learn how to set up Google Maps and Apple Maps on your phone to automatically remember where you parked. Step-by-step instructions for enabling location services and parking detection.

Phishing scammers use rnicrosoft.com domain to impersonate Microsoft by replacing "m" with "rn" in typosquatting attacks that steal login credentials.

OpenAI announces new teen safety rules for ChatGPT users under 18, blocking romantic roleplay and requiring extra caution on body image topics.

A 2025 data breach at fintech company 700Credit exposes personal information of more than 5.8 million people through compromised third-party integration partner.

Retailers lose $76.5 billion annually to return fraud as nearly 10% of U.S. retail returns involve fraudulent activity, with $850 billion in returns expected in 2025.

ShinyHunters claims responsibility for stealing 94GB of Pornhub user data affecting over 200 million records and demands Bitcoin ransom.

ChatGPT 2025 now connects to Apple Music, Canva, Expedia, TripAdvisor and OpenTable through built-in apps that help users create playlists, design graphics and more.

Apple releases emergency patches for two zero-day vulnerabilities actively exploited in attacks. iPhone and iPad users urged to update immediately.

DoorDash launches Zesty, an AI-powered social app that recommends restaurants through conversational search, now testing in San Francisco and New York.

Cybersecurity firm Infoblox reveals that over 90 percent of parked domains now redirect visitors to scams and malware, making simple typos extremely dangerous.

The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.

GPT-5.2 is now live for all ChatGPT users with improved coding, writing and image interpretation, with Kurt Knutsson offering his review.

New iPhone replacement scam uses pressure tactics and fake carrier calls to steal devices from buyers. Criminals claim shipping errors and demand urgent returns.

Amazon Ring's new facial recognition feature sparks privacy controversy as Electronic Frontier Foundation critics argue the AI upgrade expands surveillance risks.

New Android banking trojan Sturnus steals credentials, reads encrypted messages and controls devices.

Denmark's 3D-printed student village proves automation builds 36 apartments faster than traditional methods. Skovsporet project shows housing future.

Discover Android's new Sound Notifications feature that alerts you to smoke alarms, doorbells, and baby cries even when wearing headphones.

New SantaStealer malware reportedly threatens holiday shoppers with password theft. This Christmas-themed info-stealer targets browsers and crypto wallets.

The Christmas season brings a surge in Netflix phishing scams targeting shoppers with fake emails. Stacey P received convincing scam but verified account first.

San Francisco Giants invite Jamie Grohsong to throw ceremonial first pitch at Oracle Park after he learned to play baseball with a bionic hand following an injury.

FBI warns cybercriminals are stealing family photos from social media to create fake proof of life images in virtual kidnapping scams targeting victims.

Instagram's new 'Your Algorithm' tool lets you control your Reels feed in real time. The app now gives you power to customize what videos you see.

Major Marquis fintech breach exposes 400,000-plus Americans' data through unpatched SonicWall vulnerability, with Texas hardest hit at 354,000 affected.

Free up iPhone storage fast by clearing large photos and videos from Messages app. Simple steps for iOS users to delete attachments without losing chats.

Whats a Goldfish Doing at a Wedding?

Marriage & Wedding