Arranged marriages have been a topic of interest for centuries. Authors across the ages have explored this theme at length, and it still surfaces in literary works today. What's the appeal? Is it the fascination with the lack of lust and desire we cultivate in North American society? We strive on the element of danger, of the forbidden, while an arranged marriage is usually a safe way to ensure a family's approval of a union.
And yet, many of today's romance novels deal with marriages of convenience. We've all read them: the heroine marries the hero because she needs him, whether for financial reasons, or because her children need a father -- there are as many reasons to marry as there are novels dealing with this subject. Yet although the marriage isn't initially based on love, there's always that sensual tension simmering beneath the surface, and as readers, we know it's inevitable that the two are going to fall deeply and irrevocably in love.
But what about real life, where things don't always work out so well? Arranged marriages are commonplace in a number of countries, such as Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Japan and India. They're more common than you'd think even in North America, where cultural diversity is cherished and encouraged.
Young people in countries where arranged marriages are commonplace are told from an early age that their spouse will be chosen for them. To deny an arranged marriage is seen as a sign of disrespect toward the family. But how are suitable spouses chosen? In Japan, for instance, "when a woman reaches the marriageable age of 25, she and her parents compile a packet of information about her, including a photograph of her in a kimono and descriptions of her family background, education, hobbies, accomplishments and interests. Her parents then inquire among their friends and acquaintances to see if anyone knows a man who would be a suitable husband for her" (the Asia Society's Video Letter from Japan: My Family, 1988). Usually, the most important aspect of choosing a suitable spouse is the bond between the two families, rather than the relationship between the couple being married. Property or land with the aim of securing social status sometimes seals marriage agreements.
Do arranged marriages work? Opinions tend to differ. Statistics place the divorce rate for arranged marriages much lower than those in the United States, where marriages out of love are the rule. However, research also shows that the pressure a married couple encounters from both society as a whole, and from the respective families, suggests that divorce is often not an option.
Can love grow out of an arranged marriage? Absolutely, and in the same way that love can grow in romance novels from a marriage of convenience. But there's more to love than finding a suitable match. Love can grow for many reasons, from lust at first sight to friendship that develops over a long period of time. It's impossible to predict whether a union will be successful. The only two people who can make it work are the bride and groom, the hero and heroine of their own story.
Lacey Savage is the author of a number of sensual romance short stories, novels and novellas. Her articles and works of fiction often focus on women's issues and relationships. Find out more about Lacey at http://www.laceysavage.com
detailed home cleaning Glenview ..Planning a wedding of any size or budget can have... Read More
Thousands of years ago, the Celts, a group of independent... Read More
Symbols! Weddings are full of them. Exchanging rings. Exchanging roses.... Read More
Have you ever been irritated because your spouse does things... Read More
You have begun to plan your wedding and you want... Read More
Celebrating under the attentive care of Bahamas honeymoon resorts, there... Read More
He's popped the question and you're dying to tell someone.... Read More
Preparing for a wedding, large or small, is overwhelming! A... Read More
Nobody, I repeat nobody likes a bridezilla bride. If you... Read More
So, you decided to opt for an outdoor wedding under... Read More
Bless the bride... and God help the video maker. True.... Read More
Many happy couples are turning their backs on the traditional... Read More
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of... Read More
Traditionally at weddings the speechs are made after the wedding... Read More
Your wedding flowers cover all button holes, all the bouquets,... Read More
Personalized wedding favors are among the most popular of gift... Read More
Brides through the ages have accessorized with wedding jewelry to... Read More
Tahiti honeymoon resorts are the best places you could think... Read More
WHAT ARE THE TOP FIVE WEDDING FAVORS AND WHY?At most... Read More
Henry Vlll and Elizabeth Taylor, who between them had fourteen... Read More
When people think about great love stories, more often than... Read More
Getting the wedding tables right can make a big difference... Read More
Homemade wedding favors come from a centuries old tradition of... Read More
The bridesmaid gift is essential to the planning of a... Read More
People are looking for life-long relationships in the most peculiar... Read More
last minute cleaning help Highland Park ..A frustrating lack of permanence plagues modern relationships. Approximately one... Read More
Just like anywhere else in America, there are a variety... Read More
The more realistic you are as you prepare for marriage,... Read More
Planning a bridal shower? Maybe a dear friend or even... Read More
There are many answers to this question, it all depends... Read More
When it comes to response/RSVP cards, the goal is to... Read More
Biologically, a coupling between male and female (with some very... Read More
The key to being a gracious bride is to be... Read More
There are many choices available when shopping for fine plus... Read More
How do you give thanks and make a lasting impression... Read More
Of course, times have changed and there are occasions where... Read More
Let's face it, not many of us have the kind... Read More
The enchanting Belize honeymoon resorts captivate every visitor through the... Read More
Wedding receptions are expensive affairs and can set you back... Read More
I've been noticing a few things lately that a few... Read More
As a youngster -- or perhaps even as an adult... Read More
Many wives cheat on their husbands. This could be due... Read More
Just as destination weddings are fast growing in popularity, so... Read More
The elegant and sophisticated look of glittering, gleaming gold. There's... Read More
Almost there! This is the third lesson of my "Invitation... Read More
There is an overwhelming demand for high quality, custom stationery... Read More
Did you know that an emotional affair can be just... Read More
Your Wedding Favors are a little bit of your wedding... Read More
What should you "walk down the aisle" to? Should you... Read More
With so much to do, every bride needs a surefire... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |