In marriages, many arguments and hurt feelings can be traced back to communication problems. It's not unusual for spouses to stay in a continual state of frustration, feeling misunderstood and unappreciated.
Unexpressed feelings can pile up and poison the relationship. When you repress your anger, it will always come out later, usually after something minor has upset you.
You may find that it's difficult to have a complete conversation without you or your spouse leaving the room before the conflict is resolved. The emotional buttons that your spouse pushes in you can make you want to bolt and get away from your uncomfortable feelings and reactions.
Learning to communicate more effectively with your spouse requires that you be fully present and attentive. You have to be committed to really listening and hearing, not only with your ears but also with your heart. You want to eliminate any communication blocks that prevent you and your partner from growing in understanding and intimacy.
Communication blocks are anything that you do, verbally or non-verbally, to keep you from connecting deeply with another person. Some examples of communication blocks in marriage are:
* Rolling your eyes and looking resigned or exasperated when your spouse is talking;
* Sighing deeply and loudly when your spouse is sharing his/her viewpoint;
* Looking at your watch or a clock repeatedly;
* Not stopping what you're doing when your spouse is trying to have a serious talk with you;
* Not making eye contact and not giving your partner your undivided attention;
* Using the time when your spouse is talking to think about other things unrelated to the conversation;
* Tuning your spouse out because you've heard the same thing repeatedly and are convinced it's the same old speech;
* Becoming defensive and angry immediately instead of showing your partner the respect of hearing him/her out;
* Belittling your spouse, name calling, cursing, shaking or pointing a finger, or getting in his/ her face.
* Interrupting your partner before he/she is finished talking.
It has been said that for every minute you are angry with someone, you lose sixty seconds of happiness that you can never get back. It just makes good sense to do everything you can to preserve the good will and intimacy of your marriage when conflict, anger, hurt feelings, and disagreements occur.
If you truly love your partner, you will not want to rip him/her to shreds verbally, or to ignore or discount differing opinions and beliefs. You will want to do everything you can to insure that you have quality communication in your relationship and that you are communicating your caring, love, and respect to your spouse
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give." While you cannot control how someone else will react to your efforts, you can commit to doing all you can to create a safe environment where intimacy can flourish.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" The e-book is available at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com , where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Contact Nancy at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com.
move in cleaning service Lincolnshire ..Everybody who has decided to marry wants their day to... Read More
Planning and organizing a wedding budget can greatly reduce the... Read More
You've found the perfect venue: old oaks, a stone wall,... Read More
You have begun to plan your wedding and you want... Read More
Bridal accessories are as necessary to complete the bridal look,... Read More
There is little doubt that planning a wedding can be... Read More
If you've been to one wedding, you've seen it all.... Read More
This is something that we've started to send to all... Read More
Well you may not become a billionaire or even a... Read More
How do you handle arguments that lead to heated exchanges... Read More
Does it seem like the phrases "ecology" and "wedding" could... Read More
Poets, sailors, honeymooners and other romantics have officially declared this... Read More
Computer printed labels are a time-saver, but they make the... Read More
One of the most beautiful of the bride's adornments at... Read More
In Las Vegas, once you get your marriage license you... Read More
The bridesmaid gift is essential to the planning of a... Read More
Everybody talks about wedding invitations, but what about all the... Read More
Rose petals will add luxury to a wedding day or... Read More
It wasn't the wedding of the century. Six people in... Read More
You can look fabulous at your daughter's wedding in a... Read More
If you're looking to the internet for help with your... Read More
As Mark Twain said "Let us not be too particular;... Read More
My daughter and fianc? have finally set the "big day"... Read More
Is it to be a summer wedding or winter wedding?... Read More
The most enjoyable part of the wedding reception is the... Read More
house cleaning company Glencoe ..Before George W Bush became a President, John Quincy Adams... Read More
Butterfly Releases offer the viewer the chance to see beauty... Read More
As the story goes, a Cherokee elder was sitting with... Read More
I am a woman, 42, who three years ago married... Read More
No one has as much fun as the bride to... Read More
There's an important question that you need to ask the... Read More
So you have been invited to a wedding. Whether you... Read More
In case you've been living on another planet for the... Read More
Are you looking for a las Vegas chapel to make... Read More
Just like weddings, receptions are often theme based as well.... Read More
In 2004' Rockland Maine celebrated its 150th anniversary, yet very... Read More
Beach weddings are popular but they do present "special issues".Failing... Read More
Often when you are looking for wedding vendors who suit... Read More
A woman once visited a counselor to ask a question... Read More
Most brides become obsessed with throwing the perfect wedding. The... Read More
Being a best man is like many duties you will... Read More
You've found the perfect venue: old oaks, a stone wall,... Read More
Imagine the following scenario. Your spouse has given you an... Read More
In the beginning of a relationship, love seems to have... Read More
You invitation is a reflection on the type of wedding... Read More
Computer printed labels are a time-saver, but they make the... Read More
In times gone by it wasn't uncommon for young couples... Read More
How much should you spend on a diamond engagement ring?$100?$1000?How... Read More
One of the most joyous occasions in life is a... Read More
This is something that we've started to send to all... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |