In marriages, many arguments and hurt feelings can be traced back to communication problems. It's not unusual for spouses to stay in a continual state of frustration, feeling misunderstood and unappreciated.
Unexpressed feelings can pile up and poison the relationship. When you repress your anger, it will always come out later, usually after something minor has upset you.
You may find that it's difficult to have a complete conversation without you or your spouse leaving the room before the conflict is resolved. The emotional buttons that your spouse pushes in you can make you want to bolt and get away from your uncomfortable feelings and reactions.
Learning to communicate more effectively with your spouse requires that you be fully present and attentive. You have to be committed to really listening and hearing, not only with your ears but also with your heart. You want to eliminate any communication blocks that prevent you and your partner from growing in understanding and intimacy.
Communication blocks are anything that you do, verbally or non-verbally, to keep you from connecting deeply with another person. Some examples of communication blocks in marriage are:
* Rolling your eyes and looking resigned or exasperated when your spouse is talking;
* Sighing deeply and loudly when your spouse is sharing his/her viewpoint;
* Looking at your watch or a clock repeatedly;
* Not stopping what you're doing when your spouse is trying to have a serious talk with you;
* Not making eye contact and not giving your partner your undivided attention;
* Using the time when your spouse is talking to think about other things unrelated to the conversation;
* Tuning your spouse out because you've heard the same thing repeatedly and are convinced it's the same old speech;
* Becoming defensive and angry immediately instead of showing your partner the respect of hearing him/her out;
* Belittling your spouse, name calling, cursing, shaking or pointing a finger, or getting in his/ her face.
* Interrupting your partner before he/she is finished talking.
It has been said that for every minute you are angry with someone, you lose sixty seconds of happiness that you can never get back. It just makes good sense to do everything you can to preserve the good will and intimacy of your marriage when conflict, anger, hurt feelings, and disagreements occur.
If you truly love your partner, you will not want to rip him/her to shreds verbally, or to ignore or discount differing opinions and beliefs. You will want to do everything you can to insure that you have quality communication in your relationship and that you are communicating your caring, love, and respect to your spouse
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give." While you cannot control how someone else will react to your efforts, you can commit to doing all you can to create a safe environment where intimacy can flourish.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" The e-book is available at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com , where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Contact Nancy at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com.
cleaning team near Mundelein .."Presently, 40% of all first marriages in this country end... Read More
Remodels are tough on everyone. The house is out of... Read More
Henry Vlll and Elizabeth Taylor, who between them had fourteen... Read More
The symbolism of Celtic Diamond Rings is relevant to all... Read More
Getting the wedding tables right can make a big difference... Read More
Strange as it may seem the use of a wedding... Read More
Nestled in the beautiful Smoky Mountains, Gatlinburg's romantic and beautiful... Read More
Details, details, details. Paying attention to details, that's what makes... Read More
When it comes to your catering services for your wedding,... Read More
So you have been invited to a wedding. Whether you... Read More
Give disc jockey's credit. Many of them have endured so... Read More
When it comes to your decorating budget it really depends... Read More
Many happy couples are turning their backs on the traditional... Read More
Despite all the fashionable theories of marriage, the narratives and... Read More
The beginning of the journey of two souls begins with... Read More
Selecting a wedding photographer can be a daunting task. Not... Read More
Everybody talks about wedding invitations, but what about all the... Read More
Rose petals will add luxury to a wedding day or... Read More
Providing chocolate as a wedding favor has been a time... Read More
"Las Vegas hotel weddings give you tons of options. You... Read More
Marriage counseling is an investment of money, time, and energy... Read More
Wedding favors are a delightful detail for any wedding shower,... Read More
When it comes to wedding music, there are some choices... Read More
Just the thought of all the expenses that come with... Read More
Moissanite is fast becoming the new diamonds. The newest jewelry... Read More
move in cleaning service Lincolnshire ..With so much to do, every bride needs a surefire... Read More
For some couples, jetting off to their dream location would... Read More
Just like weddings, receptions are often theme based as well.... Read More
There is an overwhelming demand for high quality, custom stationery... Read More
Honeymoon is the most wonderful time of every couple's life.... Read More
The Cancun honeymoon vacation comes with its bagage of sweet... Read More
"What in the world could they have been thinking?"Definitely words... Read More
If your husband is faithful, you have much to be... Read More
Wedding ceremonies are the stuff fairy tales are made of.... Read More
Basically, there are three wedding bouquet styles. The cascade, round... Read More
Imagine it's Halloween evening and you've just gone to the... Read More
Trust is the basis of all human relationships. Trust can... Read More
A 50th anniversary gift commemorates a milestone most married couples... Read More
Did your wonderful husband-to-be recently "pop the question" and now... Read More
Cruising down the river was always deemed by couples the... Read More
One of the most important steps in planning your wedding,... Read More
Providing chocolate as a wedding favor has been a time... Read More
Wedding shower invitations should lay out all of the necessary... Read More
One of my favorite parts about the wedding, is the... Read More
Are you looking for a las Vegas chapel to make... Read More
A little strategizing can go a long way when trying... Read More
Once upon a time a caveman, while out for a... Read More
Overwhelmed is a common feeling a bride-to-be experiences as she... Read More
Whether your wedding will be coming up roses, daffodils, or... Read More
You have purchased the latest bridal magazines from your local... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |