In marriages, many arguments and hurt feelings can be traced back to communication problems. It's not unusual for spouses to stay in a continual state of frustration, feeling misunderstood and unappreciated.
Unexpressed feelings can pile up and poison the relationship. When you repress your anger, it will always come out later, usually after something minor has upset you.
You may find that it's difficult to have a complete conversation without you or your spouse leaving the room before the conflict is resolved. The emotional buttons that your spouse pushes in you can make you want to bolt and get away from your uncomfortable feelings and reactions.
Learning to communicate more effectively with your spouse requires that you be fully present and attentive. You have to be committed to really listening and hearing, not only with your ears but also with your heart. You want to eliminate any communication blocks that prevent you and your partner from growing in understanding and intimacy.
Communication blocks are anything that you do, verbally or non-verbally, to keep you from connecting deeply with another person. Some examples of communication blocks in marriage are:
* Rolling your eyes and looking resigned or exasperated when your spouse is talking;
* Sighing deeply and loudly when your spouse is sharing his/her viewpoint;
* Looking at your watch or a clock repeatedly;
* Not stopping what you're doing when your spouse is trying to have a serious talk with you;
* Not making eye contact and not giving your partner your undivided attention;
* Using the time when your spouse is talking to think about other things unrelated to the conversation;
* Tuning your spouse out because you've heard the same thing repeatedly and are convinced it's the same old speech;
* Becoming defensive and angry immediately instead of showing your partner the respect of hearing him/her out;
* Belittling your spouse, name calling, cursing, shaking or pointing a finger, or getting in his/ her face.
* Interrupting your partner before he/she is finished talking.
It has been said that for every minute you are angry with someone, you lose sixty seconds of happiness that you can never get back. It just makes good sense to do everything you can to preserve the good will and intimacy of your marriage when conflict, anger, hurt feelings, and disagreements occur.
If you truly love your partner, you will not want to rip him/her to shreds verbally, or to ignore or discount differing opinions and beliefs. You will want to do everything you can to insure that you have quality communication in your relationship and that you are communicating your caring, love, and respect to your spouse
Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give." While you cannot control how someone else will react to your efforts, you can commit to doing all you can to create a safe environment where intimacy can flourish.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" The e-book is available at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com , where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Contact Nancy at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com.
after renovation cleaning Northbrook ..Just as there are a variety of wedding packages available,... Read More
What best way can a bride think of rising to... Read More
The typical wedding reception entertainment scheme of pretty flowers and... Read More
Deciding the menu is a pretty simple affair. Once you've... Read More
There are two major events that you have to plan... Read More
Choosing who should walk down the aisle with you is... Read More
Wedding flowers make up a large part of the wedding... Read More
You may not think of Las Vegas as an area... Read More
White is traditionally a symbol of purity and as it... Read More
If the fires of passion in your marriage have been... Read More
When planning your wedding, what type of entertainment are you... Read More
It is absolutely possible to find a beautiful and affordable... Read More
A frustrating lack of permanence plagues modern relationships. Approximately one... Read More
The wedding day is the day that most women wait... Read More
Marriage counseling is an investment of money, time, and energy... Read More
It's safe to say that of all the important events... Read More
The relationship expert on i.village.com, I am the author of... Read More
Games can make or break a shower. The best can... Read More
Sure you want your guests to enjoy themselves at your... Read More
One of the most joyous occasions in life is a... Read More
You've had friends to your home for dinner. Maybe you've... Read More
'Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.' This is... Read More
One of the best benefits of marriage is that you... Read More
There's an important question that you need to ask the... Read More
Your wedding vows are the words that will forever remain... Read More
bathroom cleaning service Lake Forest ..When two people - destined for each other, come together,... Read More
"Las Vegas hotel weddings give you tons of options. You... Read More
If you've been to one wedding, you've seen it all.... Read More
Receiving wedding gifts is a whole lot more fun when... Read More
As a travel professional considering an exotic island wedding was... Read More
Choosing a wedding anniversary gift that wows your husband or... Read More
Most people are aware that significant wedding anniversaries such as... Read More
Effective communication between you and your wedding guests is essential... Read More
The extravagance of weddings is a popular topic. We blame... Read More
Wedding dresses are literally the icing on the cake on... Read More
Not so many years ago, the proposition of a wedding... Read More
Imagine it's Halloween evening and you've just gone to the... Read More
While through history brides have agonized over what to wear... Read More
In case you've been living on another planet for the... Read More
You're well into planning your wedding and have finally decided... Read More
You hear them at champagne-flowing parties. You hear them in... Read More
It really doesn't matter if you are planning to have... Read More
One of the good things about Las Vegas Wedding Packages... Read More
Chocolate fountains, once a rarity at weddings, are becoming more... Read More
Hiring music entertainment can arguably be the most important booking... Read More
You've been invited to the bridal shower ? what fun!... Read More
It's safe to say that of all the important events... Read More
Wedding favors have always been a nice, personal gesture to... Read More
Remember the frenzy of the paparazzi when they caught Sarah... Read More
Weddings are memorable events couples and their families want to... Read More
Marriage & Wedding |