Control Issues That Cause Marriage Problems

Have you ever been irritated because your spouse does things differently than you do? Do you get upset if he or she has different opinions and makes different choices than you would? If so, you have bumped up against some of your own personal control issues and triggers in your marriage. Here are three important points to consider:

1. Fear underlies control issues.

Control issues cause problems in many marriages. The feelings you experience at those times can be very intense and may include rage at the other person. Most people feel more secure when others around them mirror their opinions, beliefs, and choices. Your safety needs and fears contribute to your wanting others to be just like you. The old adage, "There is safety in numbers," refers to this primitive fear of standing alone.

Also, many people feel more in control when they can predict the behavior of others and when others meet their expectations. Then they don't have to experience the discomfort of growing, changing, or stretching themselves. Instead, they can pretend that their world is logical, orderly, predictable, and safe.

2. Thinking your spouse should be just like you harms your marriage.

Your control issues are also triggered by viewing your spouse as an extension of yourself. This perception can result in trying to dictate which clothes your spouse wears, how she wears her hair, who she is friends with, what political views she holds, and what she can or cannot do. While your spouse may initially make some changes trying to keep the peace, you are creating a parent-child dynamic in your relationship that will eventually foster rebellion and resentment.

3. Using insults and name calling are attempts to regain control.

While nothing sinister is involved in many control issues in relationships, pathological behavior can be triggered in some instances. For example, a partner who is angry that the spouse did not follow his dictates could become physically and emotionally abusive. The partner may think he has the right to "punish" the other person. Name calling and derogatory put-downs, such as "What a stupid thing to do," are often used to re-establish control over the other person.

It's easy to point a finger at your spouse and to state that he or she needs to change. It's hard to face your own unresolved issues head-on and take responsibility for how you need to change. As you become more aware of control issues in your marriage, the starting place for change is always with yourself and your response to what is happening.

Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available as an e-book at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Nancy can be contacted at http://www.keepyourmarriage.com.

after renovation cleaning Northbrook ..
In The News:

A 2025 data breach at fintech company 700Credit exposes personal information of more than 5.8 million people through compromised third-party integration partner.
Retailers lose $76.5 billion annually to return fraud as nearly 10% of U.S. retail returns involve fraudulent activity, with $850 billion in returns expected in 2025.
ShinyHunters claims responsibility for stealing 94GB of Pornhub user data affecting over 200 million records and demands Bitcoin ransom.
ChatGPT 2025 now connects to Apple Music, Canva, Expedia, TripAdvisor and OpenTable through built-in apps that help users create playlists, design graphics and more.
Apple releases emergency patches for two zero-day vulnerabilities actively exploited in attacks. iPhone and iPad users urged to update immediately.
DoorDash launches Zesty, an AI-powered social app that recommends restaurants through conversational search, now testing in San Francisco and New York.
Cybersecurity firm Infoblox reveals that over 90 percent of parked domains now redirect visitors to scams and malware, making simple typos extremely dangerous.
The Fox News AI Newsletter covers the latest artificial intelligence technology advancements, including the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
GPT-5.2 is now live for all ChatGPT users with improved coding, writing and image interpretation, with Kurt Knutsson offering his review.
New iPhone replacement scam uses pressure tactics and fake carrier calls to steal devices from buyers. Criminals claim shipping errors and demand urgent returns.
Amazon Ring's new facial recognition feature sparks privacy controversy as Electronic Frontier Foundation critics argue the AI upgrade expands surveillance risks.
New Android banking trojan Sturnus steals credentials, reads encrypted messages and controls devices.
Denmark's 3D-printed student village proves automation builds 36 apartments faster than traditional methods. Skovsporet project shows housing future.
Discover Android's new Sound Notifications feature that alerts you to smoke alarms, doorbells, and baby cries even when wearing headphones.
New SantaStealer malware reportedly threatens holiday shoppers with password theft. This Christmas-themed info-stealer targets browsers and crypto wallets.
The Christmas season brings a surge in Netflix phishing scams targeting shoppers with fake emails. Stacey P received convincing scam but verified account first.
San Francisco Giants invite Jamie Grohsong to throw ceremonial first pitch at Oracle Park after he learned to play baseball with a bionic hand following an injury.
FBI warns cybercriminals are stealing family photos from social media to create fake proof of life images in virtual kidnapping scams targeting victims.
Instagram's new 'Your Algorithm' tool lets you control your Reels feed in real time. The app now gives you power to customize what videos you see.
Major Marquis fintech breach exposes 400,000-plus Americans' data through unpatched SonicWall vulnerability, with Texas hardest hit at 354,000 affected.
Free up iPhone storage fast by clearing large photos and videos from Messages app. Simple steps for iOS users to delete attachments without losing chats.
Scammers are flooding inboxes with fake tracking alerts that mimic real carriers, exploiting the holiday rush to steal logins and personal data.
The Fox News AI Newsletter brings you the latest news on AI technology advancements and the challenges and opportunities AI presents now and for the future.
Texas family reunites with missing 11-year-old cat Grayson after 103 days using Petco Love Lost's AI photo matching technology and community help.
Tired of AI customer service loops? These insider tricks help you escape "frustration AI" and get real human help when you need it most for urgent issues.

Prenuptial Agreements

"Til death do us part" is still the language used... Read More

Bridezilla Bride!?

Nobody, I repeat nobody likes a bridezilla bride. If you... Read More

Help is Here for Your Wedding Ceremony

When it comes to your wedding services, nobody wants to... Read More

10 Valentines Day Tips for Spouses Who Want to Improve Their Marriage

The best and most valuable gifts are often not material... Read More

Considering Success in Marriage

Your success in marriage depends largely upon having sound and... Read More

How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 9

When it came to love-making, Napoleon, that short plump bundle... Read More

Five Ideas for a More Romantic Honeymoon

Candles, rose petals, satin, succulent foods, perfume-you're probably already familiar... Read More

Basic Tips for Planning a Wedding

Planning a wedding should be fun and exciting. However, if... Read More

Get Organized for Wedding Planning!

You've had friends to your home for dinner. Maybe you've... Read More

What Happens If You Dont Wear Proper Wedding Shoes?

Here comes the bride! Walking through the alley confidence holding... Read More

Bridal Shower Games?The Good, the Bad and the Overdone

Games can make or break a shower. The best can... Read More

Wedding Dress Styles ? What?s Available

There are so many styles of wedding gown to choose... Read More

Marriage Counseling Tips: What to Do When Your Spouse Wont Talk

How to get a spouse's attention so that he or... Read More

Selecting Your Wedding Centerpieces

Wedding centerpieces help tie together the look of your entire... Read More

A Wedding For All Seasons

In times gone by it wasn't uncommon for young couples... Read More

Have a Garden Theme Dream Wedding

You've found the perfect venue: old oaks, a stone wall,... Read More

Eight Ways to Divorce Proof Your Marriage

1) Write a mission statement:Most brides spend more time planning... Read More

Wedding Videography - When Getting it Right on the 1st Take Counts, Hire a Professional

Getting married is one of the most stressful events anyone... Read More

Online Wedding Dress Shopping!

Taking the hassle out of finding your perfect and unique... Read More

Cultivating Spiritual Intimacy

When two people - destined for each other, come together,... Read More

Planning A Wedding? Tips On How To Attend A Bridal Show

If you're getting married, a Bridal Show is a great... Read More

Family Cycle (I) - Euphoric and Dysphoric Cycles in Marriage

Despite all the fashionable theories of marriage, the narratives and... Read More

The Loveliest Las Vegas Wedding Reception

If you are actually planning your Las Vegas wedding reception,... Read More

Love on the Internet

People are looking for life-long relationships in the most peculiar... Read More

Let Them Eat Cake -- Just Not at Your Wedding

It's a fact, however odd it seems, that some brides... Read More

bathroom cleaning service Lake Forest ..