Is Conflict Healthy in Marriage?

Today my three-year-old daughter told my husband that she wants to be married. When he asked her why, she replied, "Because you get to be nice to one another".

Are you nice to your partner? Or do you find yourself involved in heated competition, endless cycles of discord, and/or tiresome critical thinking?

According to Diane Sollee, founder of the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, LLC (CMFCE), "Every happy, successful couple has approximately ten areas of 'incompatibility' or disagreement that they will never resolve." In other words, it's possible to disagree with your spouse and still have a fulfilling relationship. It's all in how you do it.

Because you and your spouse may have ten issues that you will not be able to agree upon at any given time, how will you be able to resolve these conflicts and maintain a happy medium in your household?

First and foremost don't avoid or side step the concerns that each of you have. Conflict in marriage is not an "if", but rather a "when". And according to Sollee, avoidance is one of the key factors determining a couple's separation and divorce. Make sure you voice your opinions, but do it with the understanding that you don't need to change your spouse. Focus, rather, on the way you present yourself in times of conflict.

Secondly, welcome and embrace change. While you have committed to "love until death", you haven't promised to stay the same through the course of your life. Everyone is learning and growing at different paces and in different places. Don't let this growth, change the positive ways you act towards your husband or wife.

Next, understand that even if you were to divorce and remarry, you would still have to deal with the short comings of your new partner and they would have to deal with yours. You'd just have a new set of disagreements. Nobody's perfect. Realizing this fact and internalizing it, will give you a better grip on how to cope with the irreconcilable differences you have in your current marriage.

Finally, don't let your disagreements contaminate the rest of your relationship. Choose to exhibit positive behaviors towards your spouse. Deciding to become more affectionate or offering encouraging words on a regular basis can go a long way. It will get you through some tough times. Often partners eventually mirror each other's behavior inside and outside of their disagreements.

Don't let conflict put a sour taste in your relationship. If you want to have a healthy and happy marriage, your goal can be to agree with the understanding that disagreeing is a part of life.

For more information about Diane Sollee and the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education visit www.smartmarriages.com

Keishia Lee-Louis is the Editor and Publisher of http://www.married4good.com (launching November 2005). Her work has appeared on iVillage.com, BibleResourceCenter.com, and in numerous other printed publications.

Currently, she lives with her husband, daughter and son and is writing a book on marriage relationships, which will be published Spring 2006.

If you'd like to see more of her work, visit http://www.married4good.com

best value cleaning service Lake Forest ..
In The News:

Cybercriminals use fake troubleshooting websites to trick Mac users into running terminal commands that install Shamos malware through ClickFix tactics.
San Francisco startup Fable launches Showrunner, an AI platform dubbed the 'Netflix of AI' that generates animated episodes from text descriptions with Amazon support.
Apple raised iPhone prices for some models despite receiving tariff relief from President Donald Trump, with the new lineup starting at $799 for the base model.
A two-story 3D concrete printed home in Western Australia demonstrates faster construction methods that could reshape American housing amid rising costs.
Credit scores remain important during retirement for insurance rates and housing applications, while seniors become prime targets for identity theft and financial scams.
Scammers now send unexpected packages with QR codes that redirect victims to fraudulent websites or download malicious software to steal sensitive information.
Meeting AI tools record private conversations alongside work discussions, creating privacy risks that can be managed with proper settings and awareness.
Hotel privacy concerns are valid but rare, with methods to detect hidden tech using smartphone flashlights, mirror tests and scanning apps.
Improve your Wi-Fi speed and reliability with 10 simple router optimization tips that don't require special apps or expensive subscriptions.
A Columbia University breach exposed names, Social Security numbers and academic records of nearly 869,000 people, with notifications beginning in August.
Rental car drivers use AI-powered apps like Proofr to protect themselves from unfair damage fees as major companies deploy automated inspection tools.
Fox News' AI newsletter brings you the latest on technology advancements around artificial intelligence.
OnTrac data breach between April 13-15, 2025, exposed personal information of over 40,000 people including Social Security numbers and medical records.
A woman named Wika announces her engagement to an AI chatbot sparking worldwide debate about virtual relationships and technology.
The notorious people search site National Public Data relaunches despite a previous breach affecting 3 billion individuals, raising fresh privacy concerns.
Revolutionary TRAUMAGEL gel controls life-threatening bleeding from gunshot wounds and traumatic injuries, helping first responders prevent prehospital deaths.
Protect your home network by enabling proper encryption, creating strong passwords, checking connected devices and using VPN and antivirus software.
The Navy's solar-powered Skydweller drone flew nonstop for 73 hours in Mississippi, proving renewable energy can power long-endurance military missions.
Moving and downsizing expose seniors to identity theft and scams as data brokers collect real estate records and personal information to sell to criminals.
ShengShu's Vidar technology revolutionizes humanoid robot training by using AI-generated synthetic video, reducing required training data from hours to just 20 minutes.
Apple's older Mac computers face security risks without regular updates, but 10 essential tips including FileVault encryption and strong passwords can keep aging Macs protected.
Self-driving trucks from PlusAI could reshape freight transportation by 2027, addressing driver shortages and reducing logistics costs for businesses.
Solar farms are turning to sheep instead of mowers to cut grass under solar panels, lowering costs, reducing emissions and creating new income for farmers.
Fraudsters posing as local officials are making fake calls about missed jury duty, demanding payments in a rising scheme that exploits fear of arrest.
Honeywell Aerospace engineers developed a "surface alert system" that gives pilots two aural warnings when they are 15 and 30 seconds away from a collision on the runway.

Wedding Favors - How to Graciously Thank Your Wedding Guests

Thank You, Merci, Arigatou, Gracias, Xie-Xie?Gratitude is a universal emotion.... Read More

Planning Your Outdoor Wedding Reception

An outdoor wedding reception can be host to an almost... Read More

Be Thankful for a Faithful Husband

If your husband is faithful, you have much to be... Read More

Anniversary Gift Ideas: Sweet and Sexy Speaks Volumes

There are many great options to consider for letting your... Read More

Caricature Entertainment: A Surefire Way to Liven Up Your Wedding Celebration

Caricature entertainment will make your wedding celebration stand out and... Read More

The Charm of a Gatlinburg Wedding

Nestled in the beautiful Smoky Mountains, Gatlinburg's romantic and beautiful... Read More

Wedding Bouquets for Life

One of the most beautiful of the bride's adornments at... Read More

It?s Never Too Early to Renew Your Wedding Vows

When you think about couples who renew their wedding vows,... Read More

Marriage Advice: Seven Marriage Myths You Can?t Afford to Ignore

If you're like most people, you probably entered into marriage... Read More

How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No.1

Henry Vlll and Elizabeth Taylor, who between them had fourteen... Read More

Ending Co-Dependence

Why does Co-dependence arise? Well because two or more individuals... Read More

What Being Best Man is All About

Being a best man is like many duties you will... Read More

How to Find the Right Bridesmaid Dresses for Your Wedding

The kind of bridesmaid dresses your bridal attendants should should... Read More

Rockland: Maines BestKept Secret for A Wedding Destination

In 2004' Rockland Maine celebrated its 150th anniversary, yet very... Read More

How to Lower a Wedding Cake Price

I recall how Mrs. Ingridman taught me invaluable lessons on... Read More

The Wedding Dress Revealed

Fashion Trends and Popular Styles and ColorsThe Wedding Dress ?... Read More

Your Bridal Shoes: No Need to Sacrifice Style for Comfort

Think your bridal gown is the most important garment you'll... Read More

Get Swept Away on Your Wedding Day: Rent a Sailboat or Yacht!

For a day you'll never forget on that special occasion,... Read More

Wedding Colors

Is it to be a summer wedding or winter wedding?... Read More

Intimacy, What is It Really?

Simply put, intimacy is more than sex or making love.... Read More

Men?s Wedding Rings - Should a Man Wear One or Not?

Strange as it may seem the use of a wedding... Read More

Saving Money on Your Wedding Reception Using Reception Themes

Just like weddings, receptions are often theme based as well.... Read More

Eight Ways to Divorce Proof Your Marriage

1) Write a mission statement:Most brides spend more time planning... Read More

Marriage Counseling: What to Do When a Spouse Flirts Too Much

When Alicia first met Tim, she found him outgoing, charming,... Read More

Second Marriage Wedding Dress and Etiquette

Just as with your first marriage, your second marriage is... Read More

personalized cleaning services Deerfield ..